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A.F.F.
4th September 2007, 17:46
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place. It's worth reading to the
end!

______________________


ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

______________________


ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

______________________


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan. ):

_______________________


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

________________________


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

_________________________


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

__________________________


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

__________________________


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.

__________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!

__________________________


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
A TTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

Drew
4th September 2007, 17:55
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
A TTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

:up: :laugh:

I'm sure somebody will go on Snopes.com and ruin it all :p :

Donney
4th September 2007, 18:57
That one is hilarious

Storm
4th September 2007, 19:58
These are old but still funny :p :

jso1985
4th September 2007, 22:17
the last one is certainly going to become a classic :p : :D :laugh:

J4MIE
4th September 2007, 22:25
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.

Brilliant! :laugh: :up:

LeonBrooke
4th September 2007, 23:42
Those are funny, but as with the others, I've read them before. Perhaps they are true... :laugh:

Addicted
5th September 2007, 19:40
For some reason I wouldn`t be surprised if these are true. Well, thanks about the laughs.

CarlMetro
5th September 2007, 20:57
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!

Has to be my favorite :laugh:

Yes they're old and have been doing the email circuit for a while now, but they're still funny :up: