If you were a Bond Baddie .....

[Hazell B]

... how would you plan to achieve that longed for world domination?

Few days ago I started wondering how the good old Bond film bad guys start out in their plans. The only way I can think of taking over the richer parts of the world is to coat all the cash with some slow acting mind drug that builds up over time. That way the rich guys are under your control first ;)

By the way, this all began with my dog getting kicked by one of the ponies, thus giving him the makings of a typical Bond baddie facial scar ..... and now I notice he's taking up more and more floor space when he's asleep. Within the week we expect a Persian kitten to be delivered and some kind of dodgy accent to develop in his bark :p :
Within a month he'll be pouring something nasty in the cat food (as practice) and then it's just a matter of time before we're all under his spell :mark:

Don't say I didn't warn you!

[A.F.F.]

Well, I'm already doing great progress with training my ants. Later on I will attach frigging lasers on their heads. You think I'm qualified ?

[Breeze]

I think this time around (2008) I'd get on the Democratic ticket. DOH!

[Breeze]

Well, I'm already doing great progress with training my ants. Later on I will attach frigging lasers on their heads. You think I'm qualified ?
Frikking lasers man, frikking lasers!

[Hazell B]

Ants with lasers, eh?

Sounds like a winner to me :)

[Eki]

By the way, this all began with my dog getting kicked by one of the ponies,
Which one?

[CarlMetro]

Well one thing's for certain, when Bond James Bond shows up rather then explaining my plan in great detail and then leaving it to some menial/animal to kill him, I'll just stick a bullet right between his eyes, then my plan can't fail :D

As for how I'm going to go about it? Well I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you ;)

[LeonBrooke]

I think it would involve hypnosis. I would have hypnotic messages imbedded in reality TV shows, programming people to go out and buy my particular pet pop star's records. That way, they'll rise to number one on the charts and I shall have world domination! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Erki]

I don't long for world domination thank you very much.

[LeonBrooke]

Yeah right.

[Erki]

Yeah right.

See, you only have to resist something to get that thing shoved to your face. :)

[Drew]

I'd start with the countries nobody really pays attention to and start running drug cartels there, Papua New Guinea, East Timor and the small countries in South America. After gaining a huge amount of wealth and support with social programmes, I'd run for presidency in one of these countries showing my true socialist colours (ugh red..) . Then make friends with Hugo Chavez then have him mysteriously die and have it clearly written that I am to be the next president of Venezuela. Then I start domination in Africa by supplying oil and medics in return for their undisputed support. After that I start working with China. I agree with China that all production to the west will stop along with all oil and natural resources I control. The west is ruined, I (with my now huge military force) invade the Americas and Europe and the rest of the world will crumble and become mine.

I'll let you all squabble over who controls Craggy Island.

[Rollo]

I think I'd like to follow the example of Charles Erwin Wilson. He was at Delco and then moved through General Motors to eventually become CEO.

When Eisenhower was President, Wilson was appointed Secretary of Defence and the first thing he suggested to improve "Defence" was the Federal Highway Act of 1956 which set in place the building of the US Interstate system.
Wilson after his spell as Secretary of Defence moved back to GM where with all these lovely roads in place, was now able to sell motor cars to go on them.

I think to be a decent Bond baddie, you need to be able manipulate governments like that. Either weasel one's way to becoming Chancellor of the Exchequer and then slashing the budget thus rendering Bond's office redundant or becoming Secretary of Defence and simply abolishing the post.

I don't think you necessarily need an industrial powerhouse to take over the world, but to buy off people and manipulate them is essential.

[millencolin]

i'd steal in idea from canadians/south park... en masse farting! it fought off saddam hussien from taking over canada, so i think it could work anywhere. not even james bond himself can say that farts dont stink


yeah i watch way too many cartoons

[Daniel]

Well, I'm already doing great progress with training my ants. Later on I will attach frigging lasers on their heads. You think I'm qualified ?
I would have myself an unholy army of Dachshunds :) Probably with slightly larger frikking lasers :)

[Daniel]

Well one thing's for certain, when Bond James Bond shows up rather then explaining my plan in great detail and then leaving it to some menial/animal to kill him, I'll just stick a bullet right between his eyes, then my plan can't fail :D

As for how I'm going to go about it? Well I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you ;)
You'd never make a good villain. Proper villains would have to have time to gloat (giving Bond time to escape) and would then need to leave before Bond could be killed to tend to the operation of some large death ray or something similar. It's amateurs like you Carl, that spoil it for the rest of us :p

[Hondo]

I have a hard enough time handling what I have now. The world will just have to dominate itself. I'm busy.

[Hondo]

I'd start with the countries nobody really pays attention to and start running drug cartels there, Papua New Guinea, East Timor and the small countries in South America. After gaining a huge amount of wealth and support with social programmes, I'd run for presidency in one of these countries showing my true socialist colours (ugh red..) . Then make friends with Hugo Chavez then have him mysteriously die and have it clearly written that I am to be the next president of Venezuela. Then I start domination in Africa by supplying oil and medics in return for their undisputed support. After that I start working with China. I agree with China that all production to the west will stop along with all oil and natural resources I control. The west is ruined, I (with my now huge military force) invade the Americas and Europe and the rest of the world will crumble and become mine.

I'll let you all squabble over who controls Craggy Island.

You may have to be native born to be president of Venezuela. Africa has plenty of oil already and doesn't need yours. Drug cartel/political office has been tried before and hasn't worked out so far. When you go to Africa and give these people oil, food, and medical care, why should they get up off their butts to fight for you and possibly get hurt when you are giving them all they need for nothing? China will take everything you give it and then probably use it to come in and stomp you into the mud. No African army, massed from many countries, or formed from a single country, can or will stand in the face of western military power. Popping a few caps at a peacekeeping force with politically tied hands is one thing, facing a couple of dedicated divisions with all out war on it's mind is another matter. The French and their Legion could probably handle most of it.

But, hey, good luck with it.

[SEATFreak]

Hmmm...I would take hostage a group of Londonders every week and take them up to the Lake District for a camping trip and a brisk hike in the hills until my demands are met by the PM to take over the world!

[Hazell B]

Which one?


Sovereign, my hunter pony. Naburn started it and got what he deserved. Within two minutes the dog was chewing the cat (and covering it in blood :rolleyes: ) and they're all friends again now.

You guys (not Carl) know you're just supplying me with good ideas here, right? They're all being passed on to the dog .......

[Eki]

Sovereign, my hunter pony. Naburn started it and got what he deserved. Within two minutes the dog was chewing the cat (and covering it in blood :rolleyes: ) and they're all friends again now.

You're living life to the full. I envy you.

[Hazell B]

You're living life to the full. I envy you.

I'm sure once the dog takes over the world he'll make you his second in command, then you'll get to mop up his blood from the cat's fur. It's not as much fun as it sounds :p :

[Ian McC]

Well one thing's for certain, when Bond James Bond shows up rather then explaining my plan in great detail and then leaving it to some menial/animal to kill him, I'll just stick a bullet right between his eyes, then my plan can't fail :D


Unless of course it's Brown Jon Brow that turns and you will have wasted your time for nothing :p :

[CarlMetro]

Oh? I don't think it'd be a waste, have you read some of his latest threads :p :

[Ian McC]

Oh? I don't think it'd be a waste, have you read some of his latest threads :p :

"You expect me to talk?"

"No Mister Brow, I expect you to die"

:D

[Hazell B]

What if I'm Mr Brow's sidekick, eh? Bet you wouldn't be so brave then :p :

In fact, I should apply to be Jon Brown's sidekick. That way I get to drive the Aston when he's had one too many Martinis :D

[Eki]

Sovereign, my hunter pony. Naburn started it and got what he deserved. Within two minutes the dog was chewing the cat
Is he cat-holic?

[Mark in Oshawa]

I was going to post something...but somewhere in there...I got lost...maybe it is Hazells' plot to take over the world....

[Ian McC]

What if I'm Mr Brow's sidekick, eh? Bet you wouldn't be so brave then :p :


You don't scare me! :p :

You may scare Mr Brow with the thought of you being his sidekick! Actually, why would you want to be in the first place :p : :p : :p :

[Hazell B]

You don't scare me! :p :




Of all the utter rubbish that's been posted on these forums over the years, that has to be the worst :mark:

Of course I scare you McC.
You're fooling nobody :p :

[Ian McC]

Of all the utter rubbish that's been posted on these forums over the years, that has to be the worst :mark:


Right, worse than scruntch or fold?



Of course I scare you McC.
You're fooling nobody :p :

You wish :p :

[Hazell B]

Right, worse than scruntch or fold?


Yep :p :

Eki, I was going to post a cat-atonic joke, but I've forgotten it :mark: That's age, that is :s

[Donney]

I would ally with sheeps and cows, after years of plotting they should have perfected their evil plan to control the world.

:p

[555-04Q2]

... how would you plan to achieve that longed for world domination?

Few days ago I started wondering how the good old Bond film bad guys start out in their plans. The only way I can think of taking over the richer parts of the world is to coat all the cash with some slow acting mind drug that builds up over time. That way the rich guys are under your control first ;)

By the way, this all began with my dog getting kicked by one of the ponies, thus giving him the makings of a typical Bond baddie facial scar ..... and now I notice he's taking up more and more floor space when he's asleep. Within the week we expect a Persian kitten to be delivered and some kind of dodgy accent to develop in his bark :p :
Within a month he'll be pouring something nasty in the cat food (as practice) and then it's just a matter of time before we're all under his spell :mark:

Don't say I didn't warn you!

I would kill Bond when I catch him and not give him a chance to escape the way he ALWAYS does in every movie :s tareup:

[RaikkonenRules]

Well one thing's for certain, when Bond James Bond shows up rather then explaining my plan in great detail and then leaving it to some menial/animal to kill him, I'll just stick a bullet right between his eyes, then my plan can't fail :D

As for how I'm going to go about it? Well I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you ;)

You jut don't get it do you? :p : When your an evil villain you have to put any interfering secret agents into an easily escapeable situation involving man-eating sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Overwise your just not a villain. :s

[RaikkonenRules]

What if I'm Mr Brow's sidekick, eh? Bet you wouldn't be so brave then :p :

In fact, I should apply to be Jon Brown's sidekick. That way I get to drive the Aston when he's had one too many Martinis :D

You won't be Jon Brown's sidekick because as of yet he hasn't released a plan here. Unless he's planning in secret so he can strike when we least expect it. :erm:

[Donney]

But that's not fair, unlike the other plans we've had the chance to read. :D

[luvracin]

HA! HA! You FOOLS!! :D

I ALREADY CONTROL THE WORLD! :p :

[Firstgear]

World Domination?

.....It has to be started in Australia. So put most of your resources there, with maybe a few somewhere in North America. Once you've got Australia under control, you can keep it safe by heavily fortifying Indonesia. Now it's time to pour resources into your North American outpost. When the outpost is strong enough, sweep thru North America from the north. Don't forget to leave Alaska and Greenland well defended. Now it's time to build up Central America. When you're strong enough there, sweep thru South America. First Venesuela, then Peru, then Argentina, and onto Brazil. This secures all of South America. Now it's time for a two pronged attack. You'll need lots of resources in Greenland and Brazil. Use these to sweep thru Europe and Africa, ending up in Ukraine and the Middle East. Now you've got Asia surrounded. Start taking Asia from Alaska, but remeber to take Japan right after Kamchatka, otherwise you could end up trapped in Japan. Go as far as you can with your Alaskan resources and then finish things off with a sweep from the west.

Works every time, as long as you can manage to roll alot of sixes.

[Ian McC]

Unless he's planning in secret so he can strike when we least expect it. :erm:

Once his fact of the day thread has put us all in a coma :p :

[CarlMetro]

Well I've found my base...........

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7012020.stm

It is the ideal home for an aspiring James Bond villain, or an anxious survivalist seeking a refuge that can withstand an atomic bomb.
A former US intercontinental ballistic missile base - with a network of underground tunnels and silos, but no nuclear warheads - is on sale on eBay for $1.5m (£750,000, 1.06m euros).

Located in a remote corner of Washington state and still ringed by its original barbed-wire-topped fence, the 56-acre site is being marketed as a "gorgeous" property and potential resort.

:evil:

[CarlMetro]

.......all I need now is few quid to buy it :D

[Flat.tyres]

Well, I would have sinister roots involving some dispicable Nazi plot which i would distance myself from.

Then I would demonise a Commander of the british Empire as I plot my subversive plot to rise to the pinnacle of an autonomous, autocratic regulatory body that can dish out multi million dollar fines at will.

After the ammassment of a considerable fortune, I would disrupt government, create plots and commit even more dispicable acts.

Oh damn, it's already been done by Max :(

[Hazell B]

.......all I need now is few quid to buy it :D

I found 5p today.
You can count me your partner on the purchase :p :