The King And You

[oily oaf]

As the entire music loving world sit in quiet contemplation this week and mournes the fact that it's 30 years since Elvis Aaron Presley was found in the little boys room at Graceland looking not at all well, I thought I might share a rather alarming statistic which was brought to my attention via a BBC chappie on the speaking wireless last evening.
Apparently when The King went to that great pizzeria in the sky there were a mere 200 tribute acts while now, 30 years on there are over 200,000.
This means that if the trend continues by the turn of the century one in four people will be an Elvis impersonator.
A worrying albeit patently ludicrous demographic :mad:

By the way folks, I had a furious "bull and cow" with Mrs Oaf last night :(
We were sitting in front of the moving television appliance watching Hugh Hefner's cinematic tour de force "Debbie Does Seahunt", it's like normal Seahunt but with no togs on, when she looked over at me appraisingly and rather kindly remarked that I was "A hunka, hunka burnin' love" then in almost the same breath she leapt from the couch, smashed me over the head with a frying pan and screamed into my face that "You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend o' mine"
"Dont be cruel" I pleaded "Why can't you see whatya doin' to me"
Well that woman must have a wooden heart because she then proceeded to knock me down and stamp on my face before announcing that she was off to the pub to slander my name all over the place.
Still, mustn't grumble.
Uhuh. Thang you very much.
(takes enormous bite from peanut butter, banana and jelly sandwich and leaves building)

[oily oaf]

In a heartrending bid to show you what I have to put up with and to save this thread from a tumbleweed fate not seen since Knock On's rugby comments left the forum distinctly underwhelmed I am posting a candid picture of Mrs Oaf which I took last night after she returned from The Blind Beggar at 2am.
As you can see from her stance and demeanour the hard drinking brute is quite clearly very much the worse for wear and indeed when I challenged her and expressed my dismay at her dishevelled appearance she toppled into the fireplace before bawling.
"Mah hands are shaky and mah knees are weak
Ah can't seem to stand on mah own two feet
Ah've had a skinfull down the rub a dub
Ah feel sick
Ah'm all pissed up"

I dunno folks, sometimes I feel like ending our marriage.
I'm truly loathe to abandon the drunken wretch but right now I feel for all the world as if I'm caught in a trap :(
Uhuh!

[Eki]

Well, at least she didn't step on your blue suede shoes and send you to Heartbreak Hotel. I've heard Heartbreak Hotel isn't exactly Blue Hawaii.

[oily oaf]

Well, at least she didn't step on your blue suede shoes and send you to Heartbreak Hotel. I've heard Heartbreak Hotel isn't exactly Blue Hawaii.

You know your trouble mate? You've got a suspicious mind :mad:

Now before all you fans of The King start sending me letter bombs (don't forget to send em special D) I'm actually a fan of the great man and indeed when in maudlin mood have been known to blub shamelessly whilst listening to my "Elvis From The Heart" compilation on the whirring, hissing cassette deck.
I wouldn't mind giving that Priscilla a nudge neither :heart:

[CarlMetro]

Now before all you fans of The King start sending me letter bombs (don't forget to send em special D)

I wouldn't do that because you'd probably return to sender which could leave me all shook up and could also see me in the jailhouse rock if I was caught.

[A.F.F.]

Maybe she wanted little less conversation and little more action in the first place.

[Tomi]

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/funny/fat-elvis.jpg (http://www.myspaceantics.com/image-fat-elvis.jpg.html) Hosted by MySpaceAntics.com (http://www.myspaceantics.com)

spare king

[jim mcglinchey]

..it would take some balls to wear an oufit like that...Ohhh...

[A.F.F.]

Nice cameltoe :D

[DonnieDarco]

Viva La Vegas!!!!! Elvis rocks, he always has.

And Tomi needs a good kicking for posting that pic!!! My eyes!!!!!!!! ;)

[oily oaf]

Personally I think the above photo merely goes to reinforce the message from the BBC that Elvis impersonators are growing out of control.
I mean to say, blimey they've even got Wayne Rooney at it now :eek:

I tell ya what though folks, the boy might earn a packet at Manchester United but he sure doesn't possess one.
2/10. Very Poor Wayne. Must do better. :mad:

Uh huh huh.

[race aficionado]

The King and I.

Growing up in Colombia I was fortunate that my older brother would bring the latest music from the US everythime he returned from boarding school.
But the music he brought - and I'm so thankful - was the latest records from The Beatles.

I got to know the King once I was here in the US of A and it was during his last years. I got to know him through TV documentaries and the one that touched me most was one where in his last years of performing, he was being interviewed back stage and his voice was course, tired and he looked wasted. But once on stage, all changed, that white cape he wore suddenly looked like wings and his voice was sweet and oh so powerful.

On another note, I don't know who owns the song "Viva Las Vegas" but now on TV there is a commercial with 4 old hippies like me jamming to a song - and it does sound good - called "Viva Viagra"

Go figure . . . . the King did like his pills.

great thread.

:s mokin:

[Eki]

Personally I think the above photo merely goes to reinforce the message from the BBC that Elvis impersonators are growing out of control.
I mean to say, blimey they've even got Wayne Rooney at it now :eek:

I tell ya what though folks, the boy might earn a packet at Manchester United but he sure doesn't possess one.
2/10. Very Poor Wayne. Must do better. :mad:

Uh huh huh.
A little less conversation and a little more action. People tell me you look like Elvis too, Oily. Just as dead.

[oily oaf]

The King and I.

Growing up in Colombia I was fortunate that my older brother would bring the latest music from the US everythime he returned from boarding school.
But the music he brought - and I'm so thankful - was the latest records from The Beatles.

I got to know the King once I was here in the US of A and it was during his last years. I got to know him through TV documentaries and the one that touched me most was one where in his last years of performing, he was being interviewed back stage and his voice was course, tired and he looked wasted. But once on stage, all changed, that white cape he wore suddenly looked like wings and his voice was sweet and oh so powerful.

On another note, I don't know who owns the song "Viva Las Vegas" but now on TV there is a commercial with 4 old hippies like me jamming to a song - and it does sound good - called "Viva Viagra"

Go figure . . . . the King did like his pills.

great thread.

:s mokin:

"Great thread" race?
Well I suppose I had to produce one sooner or later mate ;)
Law of averages innit?

Eki. You're a cruel man but extremely well informed :(

[Dave B]

I wonder how Elvis would be regarded had he not died at (or near) the peak of his career. It's possibly fortunate for his reputation that he died when he did. He'll be remembered as a great entertainer rather than a washed-up drug-taking mass of blubber.

Much of his music was brilliant, but I can't abide this notion that he was somehow responsible for inventing "Rock and / or Roll" [Revd Lovejoy, Bart Sells His Soul ] . He certainly did more than anybody else to popularise it, but drew his musical influences from many who went before him.

[oily oaf]

I wonder how Elvis would be regarded had he not died at (or near) the peak of his career. It's possibly fortunate for his reputation that he died when he did. He'll be remembered as a great entertainer rather than a washed-up drug-taking mass of blubber.

Much of his music was brilliant, but I can't abide this notion that he was somehow responsible for inventing "Rock and / or Roll" [Revd Lovejoy, Bart Sells His Soul ] . He certainly did more than anybody else to popularise it, but drew his musical influences from many who went before him.

I understand he was heavily influenced by Lonnie Donegan...................and Lulu.