oily oaf
17th July 2007, 08:18
My dear friends, the following are a few helpful pointers to get you through the undoubted ordeal of your yearly quest for the highly prized and oft elusive "Ticket"
DO Wait nicely in reception during the test and have a nice cup of coloured hot water and browse through the plethora of magazines on the coffee table.
At present we can boast a full 1982 backlog of "Enema Digest" and a highly sought after copy of the award winning 1975 issue of "Women And Animals"
Something there for everyone I think you'll agree :)
DO NOT Hang around aimlessly outside the testing bay, grinning inanely at the tester, whistling nonchalantly and asking "How's it going"? and "Everything alright?" every five bloody minutes as you'll be astonished how easily a carelessly wielded screwdriver can slip from a suspension bush and tear open an unprotected CV joint gaitor :mad:
If the tester remarks that a lower suspension arm bush is badly worn DO accidentally drop a £50 note into the inspection pit before retiring to reception (see point 1)
Ladies. "Accidentally" revealing some or all of your bodily particles may not result in the tester overlooking badly worn steering linkage but it certainly wont do your chances any harm.
Finally DO NOT harass or irritate the tester in any way, shape or form as a rectally inserted exhaust emission probe may cause offence.
I hope this helps :bandit:
DO Wait nicely in reception during the test and have a nice cup of coloured hot water and browse through the plethora of magazines on the coffee table.
At present we can boast a full 1982 backlog of "Enema Digest" and a highly sought after copy of the award winning 1975 issue of "Women And Animals"
Something there for everyone I think you'll agree :)
DO NOT Hang around aimlessly outside the testing bay, grinning inanely at the tester, whistling nonchalantly and asking "How's it going"? and "Everything alright?" every five bloody minutes as you'll be astonished how easily a carelessly wielded screwdriver can slip from a suspension bush and tear open an unprotected CV joint gaitor :mad:
If the tester remarks that a lower suspension arm bush is badly worn DO accidentally drop a £50 note into the inspection pit before retiring to reception (see point 1)
Ladies. "Accidentally" revealing some or all of your bodily particles may not result in the tester overlooking badly worn steering linkage but it certainly wont do your chances any harm.
Finally DO NOT harass or irritate the tester in any way, shape or form as a rectally inserted exhaust emission probe may cause offence.
I hope this helps :bandit: