The Last Word

[schmenke]

Nah, he's wearing a mask :p :

[DonnieDarco]

Beyatch :p :

[Rollo]

OK then, I shan't be cruel... but telling the truth on the other hand :D

[DonnieDarco]

Don't use that hand then :D

[CarlMetro]

Is that the underhand?

[MrJan]

I just farted

[djarumdudley]

exciting information!

[stevie_gerrard]

i dunno about that :p :

[DonnieDarco]

Good, glad to see people have finally posted next to Miguel, I wasn't about to :D

[CarlMetro]

I would have done but I wasn't here then. Another in the munching series, still no Cheerios in the house so boring old Cornflakes instead ;(

[Rollo]

This post comes as a result of me being bailed up on the couch with an unfortunate snot surfeit.

If anyone wants my surplus supplies then feel free to ask. Also, I seem to generating an inexhaustable supply.

[djarumdudley]

quite alright, i'm fully stocked in that category.

[LeonBrooke]

I'm finally getting to watch the latest series of Top Gear. Jeremy's comparing the Aston Martin V8 Vantage and the Jaguar XKR.

[Captain VXR]

The lw luvvvvvves astons

[Rollo]

I was watching the Dutch TT this afternoon which Rossi won; my question is to do with the A-Style logo?

http://www.astyle.it

Was anyone else thinking what I was thinking or do I have a dirty mind?

[CarlMetro]

I think most were thinking the same as you, I know I was :cheese:

[DonnieDarco]

LOL!!! How rude :laugh:

[CarlMetro]

It's no worse that the London 2012 logo :\

[DonnieDarco]

No, that was just hideous :D

[CarlMetro]

The infamous Scott mills described it as Lisa Simpson give someone a blow job :s hock:

[stevie_gerrard]

my LW

[LeonBrooke]

How could they get away with that logo?

[Rollo]

What I can't believe is that they spent nearly £400,000 coming up with it. I mean Lord Coe is seriously up himself if he thinks that this is acceptable. Personally I think it looks suspiciously like the old Tiswas logo from ITV

[CarlMetro]

I guess some people have cleaner minds than we do?

[djarumdudley]

not in this forum.

[DonnieDarco]

Morning all :D

[CarlMetro]

Afternoon :wave:

[DonnieDarco]

That too :D

[CarlMetro]

Shortly before the evening too?

[djarumdudley]

backtrack to a little past noon.

[MrJan]

I've seen that A-style logo before. It has to be my favourite logo ever because the guys who came up with it must have realised what they were doing. The LW didn't understand though, poor little thing.

[CarlMetro]

Did anyone try to explain it to the LW?

[stevie_gerrard]

nah, it doesnt need an explanation :p :

[Rollo]

In this age of innocence? No way :eek:

I think a lot of us know far too much about the world for our own good.

[LeonBrooke]

I just heard a disturbing story about the source of the vanilla flavour...

[CarlMetro]

Care to share it with us then?

[DonnieDarco]

Vanilla comes from vanilla pods. :D

[CarlMetro]

Ah, but does it though? ;)

[DonnieDarco]

Well..........................yes, yes it does :D

[CarlMetro]

Are you sure though? Have you ever seen vanilla pods producing vanilla flavouring? :dozey:

[DonnieDarco]

Not up close and personal no, but I know they do :D

[CarlMetro]

Ah ha! So you've not actually seen it, but you've heard from someone who heard from someone else whose Dad's brother's second cousin's next door neighbour told them that that is what happens. Is you source of knowledge to be trusted?

the LW doesn't think so ;)

[Rollo]

Vanilla comes from vanilla pods. :D

It therefore follows that if you cut up an iPod, you should have a source of i flavour :)

[CarlMetro]

and escape pods contain escape essence? And that pea pods contain peas..................oh hang, that last one is correct :s

[MrJan]

pod spells pod when you turn it upside down. The same can be said for dop, doop, pood and polod.

[CarlMetro]

Nice to see you're putting your degree to good use Miguel :p :

[Rollo]

Well scientists might not do rock and roll, but they understand the mineral properties of rock as well as the physics of roll.

[LeonBrooke]

Actually, some vanilla flavour comes from processed bovine stool, apparently...

[CarlMetro]

Is that why cheap icecream tastes sh...................?

[DonnieDarco]

It therefore follows that if you cut up an iPod, you should have a source of i flavour :)


Well, those should be cut up anyway, or smashed with a hammer :D I say this of course, because I don't have one :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i cant afford one :p :

[CarlMetro]

Never mind Stevie, you ain't missing out on much..........






















............apart from the LW of course :p :

[djarumdudley]

which is eluding you as well.

[MrJan]

Nice to see you're putting your degree to good use Miguel :p :

That actually is the most I've used said degree in the last 12 months.

[DonnieDarco]

Miguel, you need to use it more :D

[CarlMetro]

At least he's got one to use, more than I ever got ;(

[Rollo]

I have 3:
B.Law
B.Business (Accounting)
B.Economics
Nyah nyah nyah :D

Having said that, they're all bloody useless and not worth a tinker's fart to anyone in the real world at all.

[LeonBrooke]

I'm about five months away from completing my Bachelor of Nursing, the most useful degree mentioned so far :D

[CarlMetro]

So not all degrees are about spending three years getting pi$$ed and partying then?

[Rollo]

No, that pretty well sums up my time at uni...

Actually that pretty well sums up most of my adult life but is that a bad thing?

[CarlMetro]

I guess it's ok if you can afford it and don''t care too much about your liver.

[LeonBrooke]

I spend most of my time at the medical school, where everyone works hard and is boring.

[DonnieDarco]

Yawn................... ;)

[LeonBrooke]

I'm the exception - I'm interesting.

[CarlMetro]

Yeah, of course you are :p :

[djarumdudley]

well he was when he possesed coveted item like the last word.

[LeonBrooke]

Still do, still am :D

[CarlMetro]

Still am what?

[DonnieDarco]

What? :D

[CarlMetro]

When :confused:

[schmenke]

The LW tires of all this nonsense.

[MrJan]

After all the thousands of times the LW has been had (in the original and this thread) I don't think it has ever tired of nonsense. It's the soul of the LW itself.

[DonnieDarco]

Like wow man, that was deep :D

[djarumdudley]

the last word goes existential.

[schmenke]

The LW goes with me.

[DonnieDarco]

Not for long :D

[CarlMetro]

no, because it wants some of my cornflakes :D

[DonnieDarco]

My Jordans muesli is better :D

[CarlMetro]

Eww! :vomit: Tonight sanity has returned to the munching LW, big delivery from Tescos today, complete with three large boxes of Cheerios :lips: :up:

[DonnieDarco]

You have a Cheerios problem :D

[CarlMetro]

If I ate Musili the I'd have stomach problems ;)

[djarumdudley]

the last word shant be anywhere near that.

[stevie_gerrard]

wont it now?

[LeonBrooke]

It'll be with me :D

[Captain VXR]

Nope with me haha :p

[Rollo]

No, you'll have to wait your turn in the peloton like everyone else.

[DonnieDarco]

The wha? :D

[djarumdudley]

your turn has ended.

[DonnieDarco]

Dammit! I just got here! :D

[CarlMetro]

Are you still here? Or have you gone to a far off place, in a galaxy far far away?

[stevie_gerrard]

me and the LW just been to the forum pub :)

[CarlMetro]

Yeah, where you splashed out and bought it a glass of water..............last of the big spenders eh Stevie? :p :

[DonnieDarco]

Are you still here? Or have you gone to a far off place, in a galaxy far far away?


Well..........I did doze off on the sofa for a bit :D

[CarlMetro]

Were you watching the tennis highlights?

[DonnieDarco]

No, although it does have the same effect :D

[Rollo]

Would they by any chance involve Miss Hingis?

[LeonBrooke]

I wasn't watching any tennis that involved her :D

[Rollo]

I'll bet you were watching a video of Sharapova, recorded at normal speed and then played back in Long Play mode, thereby making an hour match last for five...

I see through your little pervy game. No wait, I endorse your little pervy game :D

[CarlMetro]

Glad to know I'm not the only one then :D

[Donney]

My LW after some time, we got some catching up to do.

:)

[CarlMetro]

It doesn't like anymore, since you deserted it for a whole week :s hock:

[Donney]

It looks like someone has taken in lessons in the University of Wrong!

[DonnieDarco]

Welcome back Donney, I trust Brighton was satisfactory? :D

[CarlMetro]

It looks like someone has taken in lessons in the University of Wrong!

Nope. Never been there myself. I guess you trip to this green and pleasant land was to go and collect you online learning certificate from there? Did it smell as bad as they say it does?

[Donney]

Welcome back Donney, I trust Brighton was satisfactory? :D

It certainly was DD, I have to admit yours is a green and pleasant land.
I think I should visit your shores more often.

A shame the LW does not like it as much.

About my degree, Mr. Metro, if that was the case I would receive my receive via mail so again your command of wrongness is frankly impressive. The smell... well let's say I did not see many cats around.

[CarlMetro]

That's cos most of them are in Winchester ;)

[DonnieDarco]

And who can blame them? Its right posh 'ere, innit? :D

[schmenke]

Too posh for the LW...

[MrJan]

Whoooooooooooooooooooooo?!!

[LeonBrooke]

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreee eeeeeeeeeeeee?!!

[Rollo]

Air raid! Air raid!

Quick, everyone into the shelter before Johnny Foreigner bombs the Sweet Holy Batman On A Stick out of us :eek:

[LeonBrooke]

My name's not Johnny :mad:

[Rollo]

But you still intend to bomb Sweet Holy Batman On A Stick out of us? That's not terribly civil.

[CarlMetro]

Batman on a stick, is that like a strawberry mivvy?

[Donney]

The LW is not a fan of batman.

[DonnieDarco]

Holy salmon Donney!! Why not? :D

[CarlMetro]

It prefers the Fantastic Four, but will watch Batman if nothing else is on ;)

[DonnieDarco]

The old TV series of Batman rocks, its hilarious :D

[Mp3 Astra]

I liked Spiderman myself. It used to be on every morning at half six on Channel 4. It's gone now, however...
The LW has come home to the master.

[CarlMetro]

I hope you have a) a reasonable excuse for your prolonged and unapproved absence, and more importantly b) filled out the correct returning to active service forms, including 301, 311 & 307c (excluding paragraph 19 unless space travel was involved) and had the required booster innoculations before returning?

[Captain VXR]

the lw has no time for forms; where can I apply for the university of wrong?

[Donney]

Carl is the right person to ask. ;)

[CarlMetro]

Well Donny is a graduate but the real supremo is DD ;)

[schmenke]

Sounds like Carl is on form... :dozey:

[DonnieDarco]

He's always about, that one :D

[CarlMetro]

:wave: :D

[Rollo]

Personally I'm still not entirely sure about using the shortened version "DD" for Ms Darco's name. I'm afraid that all that time spent at the counter of Lewis' might have done something to my fragile little mind.

Would DonnieDarcoTwo be shortened to DDT?

[CarlMetro]

Perhaps she is a real DD :cheese: Although I've always said anything more than a handfull is a waste :D

[stevie_gerrard]

me and the LW are not liking this new layout of the forum

[CarlMetro]

It's like you not having the LW, something you will have to get used to :p :

[DonnieDarco]

I am not a real DD, thank goodness! Would be such a pain when running for a bus :D

The concern is so moving though ;)

[DonnieDarco]

me and the LW are not liking this new layout of the forum


Stevie, I cannot win!!! Hate the default forum, with all the crap at the top. Can't stand the new look forum, though everything is where I want it. I do wish they'd stop faffing about :D

[djarumdudley]

might be my first last word in this newfangle forum design

[Donney]

And was it any good?

[CarlMetro]

having the LW is always good :D

[Donney]

Not that you are an expert on such matter.

[CarlMetro]

Nice to see you're using your new found skills to great use ;)

[Donney]

I don't need any new skills since the LW is, and has always been, mine. :)

[DonnieDarco]

Except that its not :D

[Donney]

Ooooh yessssh!


It definitely is.

[Mp3 Astra]

I hope you have a) a reasonable excuse for your prolonged and unapproved absence, and more importantly b) filled out the correct returning to active service forms, including 301, 311 & 307c (excluding paragraph 19 unless space travel was involved) and had the required booster innoculations before returning?

Well I do have an excuse, exams. I did fill out some forms, however I have no idea what they were and I'm worried that they were corrupt since there are 4 barristers and 7 Judges' wigs outside my door telling me that they want to talk to me about my copyright claim on the Robin Reliant.
The booster inoculations? Well my kitten bit me yesterday so I probably got immune to something through that. Haven't been to space, but did watch James May's show about it yesterday, so that kind of counts.

Mein LW

[Captain VXR]

Right Carl I need those forms ASAP :)

[Donney]

That should keep you busy.

[schmenke]

The LW and myself are busy enjoying the sunshine :)

[CarlMetro]

I was enjoying the delights of chasing a little white ball into a hole with various metal sticks earlier today :D

[Mp3 Astra]

Those poor balls! :(

[CarlMetro]

Nah, it's what they're born to do. I'm told if you listen close enough you can here them cheer with glee as they sail through the air ;)

[Rollo]

Sounds a bit masochistic if you want my opinion.

You know playing golf is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all clean your balls, then get a good grip on your shaft. Make sure that you get a good follow through and be careful that your aiming for the right hole :D

[djarumdudley]

is the aim really all that important?

[Donney]

The LW is not into golf.

[CarlMetro]

I didn't say it was :p :

[Donney]

Just in case...

[Rollo]

He was a detective was he not?

[CarlMetro]

Who? Justin Case? Dunno but I knew his sister Vanity.........

[schmenke]

...be careful that your aiming for the right hole :D

Yes but you at least get several attempts at the hole :p :

[DonnieDarco]

I refuse to discuss any of that on the grounds it could get me into trouble :D

[MrJan]

Definately a bit close today.

[CarlMetro]

Which is more than some of my puts were yesterday :s

[DonnieDarco]

So you suck at golf too then Carl ;) :D

[CarlMetro]

Put it this way, the rabbits were in more danger than the course record was yesterday :\

[LeonBrooke]

Poor rabbits

[CarlMetro]

Talking of rabbits, there was a little baby one sitting besides the 8th tee. It was so cute and it was obviously the product of a domestic rabbit because it was pure black.

[LeonBrooke]

Did you take it home to use as a familiar? :D

[Rollo]

I think that the best name for a rabbit would be Stewart.

[DonnieDarco]

Or Dave :D

[Rollo]

The name Stewart is good because it tells you what is best done with a rabbit... stew it. To the best of my knowledge, I don't know how to "dave" anything.

[Donney]

We are fine as long as you don't stew the LW.

[CarlMetro]

My TFI Friday LW.

[DonnieDarco]

The name Stewart is good because it tells you what is best done with a rabbit... stew it. To the best of my knowledge, I don't know how to "dave" anything.

Look you, I know a parrot called Dave, and if it works for him it can work for a rabbit. :D

Besides, I've never eaten rabbit in my entire life and I never will.

[CarlMetro]

You don't know what you're missing, by far the nicest stew you can ever eat ;)

[Donney]

Rabbit tastes great DD you should give it a try.

[CarlMetro]

Especially if you've caught it fresh :lips:

[schmenke]

What did you do Carl, club it to death with your 9-iron? :mark:

[CarlMetro]

Nah, my 9 is useful, 5 wood on the other hand.......... ;)

[DonnieDarco]

Men :D

[schmenke]

The best thing about being a man is that we can pee just about anywhere... :D

[DonnieDarco]

Yes that has always annoyed me, since its such a pain for women caught short :D

Btw Schmenke, hows sprog to be number two coming along? All proceeding well I trust? :D

[stevie_gerrard]

nothing beats Duck i'm afraid, even though i haven't had rabbit for a while. :p :

[Captain VXR]

Can I have some stewed leek?

[DonnieDarco]

nothing beats Duck i'm afraid, even though i haven't had rabbit for a while.

I won't ever eat duck either :D Not that I mind what anyone else chooses to eat, because I don't. And before anyone asks, veal and venison are permanently off my menu too, as is lamb. :D

Schmenke - I'm a plank, but that's the only time you'll ever get such an admission :D

[CarlMetro]

I'm not saying anything :p :

[DonnieDarco]

That makes a pleasant change :p :

[CarlMetro]

Oi! I was going to be nice to you but I may have to change my mind now ;(

[Rollo]

The best thing about being a man is that we can pee just about anywhere... :D

Although I have never actually set foot in Mexico, last time I was in the US I weed into that country from San Diego.

[DonnieDarco]

Blimey Rollo, that was some night out :D

[NoahsGirl]

It most certainly was!

[CarlMetro]

You were there too NG? Did you do the same or did you prefer to use a publi convenience?

[Rollo]

Scottish people can wee into England without much bother... in fact they've done it again with the new Prime Minister.

[LeonBrooke]

So, what's the consensus about Gordon Brown?

[Rollo]

Gordon Brown? Texture like sun?

[DonnieDarco]

Always a frown, with Gordon Brown :D

[Donney]

Always a smile with the LW :)

[Captain VXR]

Yep its making me feel better after Gio and Chilton's weekend ;(

[MrJan]

Skibbedy bop

[DonnieDarco]

Another insightful comment from Miguel :D

[Rollo]

He's talking Skat!

Which is a departure from his usual Scat :eek:

[CarlMetro]

You mean kak?

Anyhoo, I'm currently sitting at an airoport, waiting on a delayed flight to take me to the Fatherland for the best part of this week. I might have a few probs in logging on so I'm trusting you all to look after my LW while I'm gone.

:wave:

[Donney]

The LW will be fine with me, don't worry about that and have a good week.

[DonnieDarco]

Have a good trip Carl :D Where you going? Fatherland doesn't really help me :D

[Donney]

Is it anywhere near LWland?

[Captain VXR]

Im looking after the lw for Carl. Nah nah nah nah nah nah :D

[schmenke]

Not for long...

[Rollo]

Im looking after the lw for Carl. Nah nah nah nah nah nah :D

No it's:
Nah nah nah nah, Nah nah nah nah, Hey hey hey. Goodbye.

Not enough nahs and no heys from you. Please try harder.

[stevie_gerrard]

my LW

[Donney]

The LW has had enough of your company. :D

[schmenke]

And yours :p :

[Captain VXR]

And yours + Rollo-Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah hey hey hey hey goodbye :p

[DonnieDarco]

Thats still wrong, and now you have to complete form 7348829b, to prove you are in control of your faculties :D

[schmenke]

And don't forget form 5H177Y to prove that you are in control of your bowels.

[MrJan]

I'm not sure that I am in control of my bowels. I blame the museli, it's always the museli.

[DonnieDarco]

Have some bananas :D

[MrJan]

Are you calling me a monkey? Anyways there is no way I'm having bananas from you, far too high a urine content for my liking :p : :D

[schmenke]

DD's bananas should be o.k. as long as you remove the pee(l).








:mark:

[LeonBrooke]

Does anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they discuss peeling a cow?

[DonnieDarco]

Miguel, I have never nor will I ever, pee on bananas :D

I don't remember that Leon, but I wouldn't put it past them :D

[Rollo]

But yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.

[schmenke]

How does one peel a cow? :cornfused:

[Donney]

I'll consult the LW about it, but I don't think we will find an answer.

[DonnieDarco]

I would imagine that you peel a cow....................very slowly :D

[schmenke]

That's udderly ridiculous.

[Captain VXR]

The lw hates puns you monster :mad:
Form 7348829b completed Donnie'Catwee'Darco :)

[DonnieDarco]

In triplicate I hope :p :

[LeonBrooke]

so quintuplicate is unnecessary?

[Rollo]

Please send the fourth form to:

HM Inland Revenue
Saughton House
Broomhouse Drive
Edinburgh
EH11 4XG

[djarumdudley]

triumphant return to the last word.

[LeonBrooke]

...by me

[Rollo]

Too bad that the hopes and fears of all the years are dashed from thee tonight.

[LeonBrooke]

Not really; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out on Saturday, so everything is right in the world.

[DonnieDarco]

Yep, will be queueing at midnight for it :D

[LeonBrooke]

For me it'll be 11:01 am on Saturday.

It's very exciting, but it'll be sad to finish the series...

[DonnieDarco]

I know!!! I'm also desperately hoping Harry doesn't die, too. My son was a little boy when we started reading these, now he's 16!

I should add to this please, no spoilers :D I'm aware there's been possible leakage, but I've avoided it all up to now :D

[LeonBrooke]

Don't worry, I hate spoilers, so I won't be posting any.

I think Harry won't die. Maybe Ron, but not Hermione or Harry. Everything's changed now - we have no idea about the structure of the story.

I think the best movie was the fourth one.

[DonnieDarco]

Well, we know Harry has to go find and destroy those pieces of Voldemort's soul in order to kill him.

And we know he's unlikely to be returning to Hogwarts :D

[Donney]

Yep, yep, it all makes sense now.... :rolleyes:

[DonnieDarco]

Sorry Donney, but we like HP, and its not against the law to discuss it ;) :D

[CarlMetro]

Where you going?
Germany, and I've just got back :wave:

Sadly, despite everyone's wishes for me to have a good trip, it wasn't ;( But heyho there you go :)

[DonnieDarco]

Never mind Carl, you're back now :D

[schmenke]

What happened Carl?

[CarlMetro]

I quit is what happened. I have gotten sick of spending too much time away in hotels and not seeing any benefit or receieving any thanks for doing so, so I found another job and quit my current one.

Lets just say that my resignation didn't get too good a reception ;)

[MrJan]

That's strange Carl, usually receptions for resignations are joyous occassions with lots of cheering, drinking and dancing. People love a good resignation party, at least they do when I quit :( ;)

[DonnieDarco]

Carl changes jobs more often than the rest of us have had hot dinners :D

[CarlMetro]

Now that's not really true is it? Unless you eat a lot of salads down there at the school of wrongness :p :

[Mp3 Astra]

Blimey Carl, more time for sitting on the lawn with your laptop, listening to the thwack of leather upon willow on the radio, no?

[Rollo]

So it's actually Harry Potter that everyone's talking about eh? I received a text message telling me that "ppl q'ing 4 new HP" and thought that it had to do with Russians standing outside of their local supermarket for the new release of brown sauce.

It all makes sense now.

[Mp3 Astra]

Brown sauce is definitely something worth queuing for!

[CarlMetro]

Yes but sadly not for long. As with any new job I've got to put a bit of effort it when I first start and by the time I can sit at home again I fear the cricket season will be over. Still, first test at Lords and the Open golf should keep me busy tomorrow :D

[Mp3 Astra]

Try and listen to both at the same time. Unfortunately I can't think of any gags to do with cricket and golf right now. Gutted!

[CarlMetro]

Oh well, never mind :D

[Rollo]

You'll just have to form part of the queue then.

I note that during the cricket yesterday, there were people wearing Spanish football shirts, all with "Giles 29" on the back, despite him not actually being in the test squad.

[LeonBrooke]

Less than 24 hours until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is released! I cannot contain my excitement!!!!!!!!!!