The Last Word

[Rollo]

Well of course, you always learn something at The University of Rollo. Whether or not it's useful is an entirely separate issue.

[CarlMetro]

Is that why you went to Ausland? To teach them Aussies a thing or two ;)

[djarumdudley]

even here i can't escape scents and aromas! my allergies decided to relent today giving me the temporary ability to smell again. my nasal cavity was rather offended by this turn of events.

fortuanately the last word is odorless and mine.

[DonnieDarco]

Isn't that Arabic for cat wee? :p :

Get back in your corner. And I've just given you an F for that, you lippy little bleeder :D

[Captain VXR]

The lw wants its grade now :)

[Donney]

The LW will wait by my side for its grade.

[CarlMetro]

Well it gets a gold star from me, seeing as it's just returned home to me :D

[Donney]

The LW has left the building.

[CarlMetro]

No it hasn't :confused:

[Donney]

It has left your building :D

[CarlMetro]

Nope, it's still here.............see :D

[djarumdudley]

no it's rather like Elvis

[DonnieDarco]

Elvis lives!!!! :D

[DonnieDarco]

And that reminds me - Donney, can you tell me what caminando por la calle means please? Much obliged :D

[schmenke]

Donney can't help you now as he's busy searching for the LW...

[Donney]

And that reminds me - Donney, can you tell me what caminando por la calle means please? Much obliged :D


Of course but I'll have the LW as payment :D

It means: "Walking on the street"

[schmenke]

Donnie why were you walking on the street in Spain?
Were you thrown in jail? Did it smell of wee? Did it remind you of home?

[CarlMetro]

Oooh she's gonna slap you hard for that one :laugh:

[DonnieDarco]

Of course but I'll have the LW as payment :D

It means: "Walking on the street"

Thats not at all romantic!!! Very disappointing :D

[DonnieDarco]

Donnie why were you walking on the street in Spain?
Were you thrown in jail? Did it smell of wee? Did it remind you of home?


I don't like you :D

[CarlMetro]

Thats not at all romantic!!! Very disappointing :D

Eh up! Donney's been whispering sweet nothings to DD while she's been giving him 'wrongness' lessons ;)

[DonnieDarco]

I meant, its a song title, of what seems like a romantic tune :D

[CarlMetro]

Yeah, of course it is, we believe you, honest we do ;)

[Rollo]

Wee Wish You A Merry Christmas? :D

[CarlMetro]

Wee'll meet again :p :

[DonnieDarco]

I've gone right off you two an' all :D

[stevie_gerrard]

oh dear :p :

[DonnieDarco]

Stevie, you're up very late :D

[djarumdudley]

Wee Are The World, heh, heh!

[Rollo]

I've gone right off you two an' all :D

It's better than going on us.

I had thought about making some sort of joke about the Golden Showers Chinese Restaurant but thought better of it as that may be construed as being grotty and filthy.

We wouldn't want that now, would we?

[djarumdudley]

you couldn't possibly be doubting the low browness of this thread?

[LeonBrooke]

I don't want to think about what that could mean...

[Rollo]

Limbo lower now. You could be a limbo star. How low can you go?

[djarumdudley]

endlessy, there's no bottom

[CarlMetro]

You've got no bottom? :s hock: What do you sit on then?

[Donney]

I meant, its a song title, of what seems like a romantic tune :D

Maybe not the title but what about the rest of the song?

Would you mind if I ask what song and who sings it?

The LW wants to know. :)

[Donney]

Eh up! Donney's been whispering sweet nothings to DD while she's been giving him 'wrongness' lessons ;)

:dozey:

And you could give me a master in wrongness, but I'm not whispering anything to you.... :p :

And I don't remeber whispering to Donnie either :rolleyes:

[DonnieDarco]

Maybe not the title but what about the rest of the song?

Would you mind if I ask what song and who sings it?

The LW wants to know. :)


You realise I'm setting myself up for yet more aggro if I tell you? :D

[Donney]

It is the LW who wants to know..... :D

[Captain VXR]

Wee (the lw and me) know that Donney fancies schmenke

[Donney]

Wee (the lw and me) know that Donney fancies schmenke
http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/angry040.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

I have nothing against Belgium... but no thanks.

[schmenke]

The Captain can kiss my Belgium... :hmph:

[CarlMetro]

He can if you really want him to, just so long as wee don't have to :\

[djarumdudley]

i'm going to rescue the last word from that pun.

[stevie_gerrard]

i think its safe now :)

[DonnieDarco]

Is it ever safe in here? :D

[Donney]

It is safe with me.

[CarlMetro]

Me too :D

[Rollo]

Not with me though. I'm a scary lad.

Boogity Boogity Boogity!... :D (Lets Go Racing Boys?)

[djarumdudley]

how silly of me to think this thread would be my only refuge from a Darrell Waltrip reference. i'll go to my corner now.

[CarlMetro]

Who's Darrell Waltrip?

[LeonBrooke]

He's not me, or anyone related to me :D

[CarlMetro]

Much like the LW then :p :

[LeonBrooke]

No, the LW is not related to me, so you know what that means? It means I probably wouldn't be able give it a kidney if it needed another one :D

[CarlMetro]

You might be a match even if you're not related though, take one out and we'll have look ;)

[Donney]

My kidneys are perfect, thank you, and so are the LW's which menas we can go out and have a drink together.

See you. :)

[LeonBrooke]

Okay, give me a knife and we'll find out ;)

[Donney]

No knifes for you, I'm not sure we can trust you.

[Captain VXR]

I trust the lw with my kitchen knife

[schmenke]

Darrell Waltrip is a cab driver.

[DonnieDarco]

My feet hurt. :D

[schmenke]

Sit down - take a load off :mark:











:uhoh:

[DonnieDarco]

Not as much of a load as you :D

[CarlMetro]

Meoow!

[Rollo]

You're only a wee lass eh?

[DonnieDarco]

I am! Size 3 shoes, 5ft 1 inch or thereabouts, and I don't weigh much :D

But I prefer the term slight :D

[djarumdudley]

slight is fine, but it's not like being wholly with the last word

[MrJan]

Isn't Donnie more of a cat wee lass?

[stevie_gerrard]

god knows :p :

[djarumdudley]

that you no longer have the last word.

[CarlMetro]

.........because it's here with me :D

Haven't we had this conversation before? :dozey:

[DonnieDarco]

Yes, you're very repetitive :D

[Donney]

He is indeed. :)

[CarlMetro]

That maybe true, but I'm not alone :p :

[Donney]

You may have company but it is not the LW.

[CarlMetro]

Oh? And what would you call this then?

[DonnieDarco]

My LW, silly :D

[Donney]

Just silly ;)

[CarlMetro]

:confused:

[Captain VXR]

My LW, silly :D

hey Donnie isn't it time wee sorted out that Miguel Sanchez out for calling you a cat wee lass? The lw, me and you that is, angle grinders are waiting :)

[CarlMetro]

Perhaps you'll just have to go play with yourself..........






















.............and your angle grinders because the LW is busy ;)

[schmenke]

What's with the angle-grinders? :confused:

[Donney]

Dunno.

[CarlMetro]

Me neither, but let him play with them if it keeps him happy ;)

[schmenke]

I'm not convinced that the LW is happy :mark: . So I'll hang on to it :D

[NoahsGirl]

It's definately not happy, so I'll have it!

[DonnieDarco]

What are angle-grinders? :D

[NoahsGirl]

No, I'm a Gemini :D

[DonnieDarco]

Hello? Is anyone there? :D

[CarlMetro]

:wave:

[NoahsGirl]

I'm here - just

[CarlMetro]

Just what :confused:

[Captain VXR]

What are angle-grinders? :D


Circular saws powered by motorbike engines
Jeremy Clarkson can often be seen using them on crap cars

[schmenke]

The missus backed her SUV into my car yesterday :mad:

[LeonBrooke]

What was your car doing parked right under her SUV's rear wheels? ;)

[schmenke]

She parked it there!

[LeonBrooke]

How badly damaged is your car?

[schmenke]

Not much. The hood (bonnet) won't close :mark: I think it may be slightly buckled. Otherwise no other visible damage :mark:

[LeonBrooke]

Well that's not so bad... shouldn't be too hard to get fixed, surely? Can you still safely use it for its intended purpose?

[schmenke]

Yeah, it seems to drive o.k., although I haven't taken it on a highway for fear of the hood flipping up at high speeds :mark:
I'm taking it to a local Oaf tomorrow to see what can be done.

[LeonBrooke]

It would be so easy to exaggerate the damage done, I'm sure... be wary of them telling you it's major, but you don't need me to tell you that.

[CarlMetro]

Perhaps she did it on purpose after finding out about schmenke's frequent, but brief, liaisons with the LW ;)

[LeonBrooke]

A distinct possibility. I, luckily, have no car to be smashed so I can still take the LW for drives because it hasn't been-

Hang on...

[stevie_gerrard]

what?

[CarlMetro]

Dunno :confused: But I'm not holding on anymore :D

[LeonBrooke]

You confused me. Well the LW makes everything clear :D

[CarlMetro]

Back to being confused then :p :

[LeonBrooke]

But not for long :D

[CarlMetro]

If you say so :p :

[Rollo]

And so say all of us.

[djarumdudley]

at least those with the last word.

[Donney]

Like me.

[DonnieDarco]

Perhaps she did it on purpose after finding out about schmenke's frequent, but brief, liaisons with the LW ;)


I think she did it on purpose because she's married to Schmenke, and god knows, that would try anyone's patience :D

[Donney]

But his car is not to blame....

[schmenke]

I think she did it on purpose because she's married to Schmenke, and god knows, that would try anyone's patience :D

Mrs. Schmenke is a very patient woman... except when it comes to driving :mark: :uhoh:

Oh, and she happens to like Belgium :p :

[Captain VXR]

The lw is to blame it tells me

[CarlMetro]

I doubt that very much.

[Donney]

The LW is always innocent and always proven mine. :)

[schmenke]

Donney, can you please demonstrate that proof?

[MrJan]

moooooooooooooooo

[CarlMetro]

Moooo what?

[LeonBrooke]

He must be demonstrating his bovine-ness.

[CarlMetro]

Well that's OK, as long as he doesn't make a mess on the carpet :dozey:

[LeonBrooke]

If you're so worried about that, why don't you put him in bog bovine nappies? :D

[stevie_gerrard]

my LW

[djarumdudley]

no longer

[CarlMetro]

A rather strange time for a munching LW, though happily the munch itself is quite normal for me, being as it's a bowl of delicious, nutritious Cheerios :lips:

[DonnieDarco]

Yuk :D Toast and honey with a nice cup of tea, much tastier than Cheerios :D

[CarlMetro]

That may be true, but lack of honey in my house means it's not an option :dozey:

[Donney]

You could add a little bit of olive oil on your toast to make it Mediterranean healthy. The LW likes it.

[CarlMetro]

Can I have cheese on it too?

[Donney]

Sure cheese is always nice. The LW likes feta.

[CarlMetro]

:yuk:

Has to be mature cheddar and nothing else :facelick:

[Donney]

Ignorant!!!!













;)

[CarlMetro]

On the contrary, I know what both I and the LW like ;)

[DonnieDarco]

I like mild cheddar, and none of that crap with the mould in :D

[Captain VXR]

as does the lw

[Donney]

The LW likes stronger cheese.

[schmenke]

mmm... feta... :facelick:

[Donney]

See, Mr. Belgium agrees


;)

[stevie_gerrard]

does he now?

[LeonBrooke]

I like the cheese that's in the fridge :)

[Rollo]

Do you like cutting the cheese? :D

[CarlMetro]

Enough of all this cheese, time to dedicate my attention to the LW :cheese:

[Donney]

:rolleyes:

What makes you think the LW wants your attention?

[CarlMetro]

It's always happy to see me ;)

[Donney]

The LW has an incredible talent for acting.......

[schmenke]

The LW is currently enjoying a poppy-seed bagel with cream cheese :cheese:

[CarlMetro]

Sounds nice, is there any going spare? :lips:

[schmenke]

Nope :burp:

[CarlMetro]

Oh well never mind, I probably shouldn't after the steak I had for lunch anyway :D

[schmenke]

How many pints did you have with that?

[CarlMetro]

Just one bottle of Coors Light followed by a glass of orange juice.

[schmenke]

Ooh, sounds like a light lunch... :p :

[CarlMetro]

It was very nice, made even more so by the fact that I wasn't paying :D

[Rollo]

25 pints it is then :D

[DonnieDarco]

25 pints of what? :D

[CarlMetro]

Well it wasn't wee, that's for sure ;)

[DonnieDarco]

Shut it you :p :

[CarlMetro]

What? I was merely stating a fact :angel:

[LeonBrooke]

I must say I still don't get it...

[CarlMetro]

Never mind then ;)

[Rollo]

Does a Royal Flush come after a Royal Wee? :D

[LeonBrooke]

I don't like being left out of the joke like this. It could give a person a personality disorder if you're not careful...

[Rollo]

In your starter kit which you should have checked by now, you would have found a set of keys to the common room, your personal locker and a book of regulations. In the Chit Chat forum we've been using Lord Grosvenor's Original 1998 Rules in which horizontal play is only permissible when a pursuant has been Huffed, and you can only re-double when you are in knip.

With skilful use of the lateral shift, you can box your opponents in or out of the area. However, it should be noted that once Tooting Bec has been declared, then cloistering is no longer permitted.

Just bear that in mind from now on, as you don't want to accidentally (though you might want to deliberately) offend our more senior members who might need a nap.

[CarlMetro]

I think that's what I need now, so I'll take the LW as company for me :D

[LeonBrooke]

Well I suggest you go to bed then :p :

[CarlMetro]

I will



















in a minute :p :

[Rollo]

Just as long as you don't hesitate, deviate or repeat anything :D

[Brown, Jon Brow]

So whats the last word?(period)

[LeonBrooke]

It's with me. If you want to see you can come and visit :D

[Donney]

It was with you, but now it isn't.

[Brown, Jon Brow]

You can keep your stupid last word

[Donney]

:dozey:

Unless it is a joke I don't get (in which case I'm sorry)...

Thank you, we didn't need your permission to do so.

[Brown, Jon Brow]

No I'm not joking! I'M DEADLY SERIOUS! :evil:

I don't want it. It's overrated

[DonnieDarco]

I'm holding up a handbag, and saying Oooooooooh! In the manner of Reeves and Mortimer :D

[Captain VXR]

The lw is buying me a BTCC ticket :p

[djarumdudley]

apparently the last word has left you waiting on line

[DonnieDarco]

Hey Dudley :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i sure wish the LW would buy me something :(

[DonnieDarco]

What, like maybe a raffle ticket? :D

[djarumdudley]

hey, Donnie. looks like my ticket cashed out the last word for me!

[CarlMetro]

Looks like iot was a scam after all :\

[DonnieDarco]

Iot was? dang it :p : :D

[DonnieDarco]

Ok, what happened to all the people????? Where are Carl, Donney and Rollo? What about Leon and Dudley??

Is there some sort of space time continuim I'm presently unaware of? :D

[CarlMetro]

Have no fear munch man is here :D Tonight it's another of the rare ones, Sugar Puffs no less :lips:

[LeonBrooke]

Don't Worry Donnie, I'm here to take control of the situation :D Carl, you can go home now.

[DonnieDarco]

Good, now you're here, the LW is mine. :D

[Captain VXR]

The lw says wee had a good chinese last night

[stevie_gerrard]

does it now?

[MrJan]

I tried getting a spring roll last night but the stupid takeaway closes at 2 in the morning. What's the use in that?

[DonnieDarco]

So they can go to bed I guess, but its not good enough, I hear you :D

[LeonBrooke]

People who work in takeaways shouldn't be going to bed! They should be willing to serve whenever we want them to. Disgraceful... :D

(Being sarcastic, of course...)

[DonnieDarco]

No, thats right!!! If I want curry sauce and chips at 3am in the morning, and I often have, they should damn well be open at the ready!!! :D

Its just plain selfishness, that's what it is :D

[LeonBrooke]

It's disgusting. Don't they realise what they're there for, and the obligations you sign up for when you open a takeaway? If you can't handle it they should be doing something else :D

[DonnieDarco]

My sentiments exactly, there should be some sort of shift rota thingie ;) :D

[djarumdudley]

finally my last wordless weekend has been rectified.

[DonnieDarco]

Good Dudley, thats good :D

[CarlMetro]

Well while you lot search for the ever-open takeaway I'll treat the LW to a nice bowl of Rice Crispies :lips:

[DonnieDarco]

Thank god its not those awful sugar puffs again :D

[CarlMetro]

The LW told me it actually prefers Sugar Puffs to Cheerios :eek: , but then I think someone else has been trying to brain wash it ;)

[schmenke]

The LW is not fussed by what cereal is on the menu as long as it's enjoyed in the company of schmenke :D

[CarlMetro]

Not sure about that :s

[Captain VXR]

Seconded

[schmenke]

Perhaps you should ask the LW :)

[CarlMetro]

Hmmm, hadn't thought of that ;)

[djarumdudley]

wouldn't you need the last word to ask it?

[DonnieDarco]

Ask it what? I can't be arsed to go back a page :D

Btw - Hot Fuzz is very funny :laugh:

[stevie_gerrard]

i havent seen it yet, but i really want to

[CarlMetro]

I just want the LW :D

[LeonBrooke]

Congrats to Carl for getting the 3700th post.

[CarlMetro]

It doesn't matter what the post number is, so long as it contains the LW ;)

[LeonBrooke]

Yes, but you don't have the LW, so you'll have to be satisfied with the post number :D

[djarumdudley]

#3711 is fine for me as it's last word inclusive

[LeonBrooke]

My plan worked :D I wanted you to believe that so you wouldn't notice me absconding with the LW :D

[CarlMetro]

Didn't notice it because it didn't happen :dozey:

[DonnieDarco]

Nothing ever happens in here, just good honest thieving :D

[Captain VXR]

yep good honest theiving donnie ;)

[CarlMetro]

Well when in Rome..........

[schmenke]

...enjoy the pasta! :D

[MrJan]

hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[DonnieDarco]

Ooooh, pasta :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i had salad instead

[CarlMetro]

...enjoy the pasta! :D

I did, and it was very nice too :lips: :burp:

[djarumdudley]

i'll take the breadsticks with a side of last word.

[DonnieDarco]

Ooooh, breadsticks :D You need some cheese and chive dip and some Piccolo tomatoes to go with those :D

[CarlMetro]

No breadsticks, nice dough balls instead :lips:

[Donney]

And now you've made me hungry.....

[CarlMetro]

Well eat something then :\

[Donney]

I'm at work..... :(

[CarlMetro]

Well go and get something :dozey:

[schmenke]

While Donney is scavenging for scraps of food, I'll dine on some fine pasta with the LW :D

[LeonBrooke]

The LW and I shall go for lunch shortly :D

[CarlMetro]

Off you go then, but it might be a bit lonely on your own.

[LeonBrooke]

I decided to go see Pirates of the Caribbean before lunch. Good film, sad ending. Keira Knightley was brilliant :D

[Donney]

I didn't like it very much.

[stevie_gerrard]

it was ok i guess

[CarlMetro]

Not seen the 2nd one yet :\ Ah the joys of having children :(

[Captain VXR]

the lw is a good childminder but suggests you taking them to see it

[CarlMetro]

I could take him but other people's enjoyment might be somewhat depleated by the small fact that he doesn't sit still for more than 30 seconds whilst he's awake :s

[schmenke]

Keeps you on your toes, doesn't it Carl? :mark:

[CarlMetro]

Yeah but you wouldn't trade it for anything, would you?

[schmenke]

Nope :)

[LeonBrooke]

Okay, so it might have been a bit silly in parts, but Keira Knightley was awesome :D

[CarlMetro]

Did she show plenty of heaving cleavage? :cheese:

[LeonBrooke]

Not really, but I think she's the highlight of any film she's in.

(Anyway, she has quite a small chest...) and she's only two years older than me :D

[CarlMetro]

What's the point in watching a pirate film if there's no heaving cleavage? :rolleyes:

[LeonBrooke]

As I said, Keira Knightley is the highlight of any film - even if all she was doing was trying to assemble flat-pack furniture.

And Johnny Depp was funny - films where people argue with themselves are great, and I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that :D

[CarlMetro]

Can't say she really does anything for me, but each to their own I guess.

[LeonBrooke]

Bend it like Beckham is currently my favourite film because it has two of the best actresses of the modern era in it (Keira and Parminder Nagra). And it's funny. And it has some cool football scenes :D

So what's yours, Carl?