unexplained absence...

[slinkster]

... but I'm most definitely back. :D

[Donney]

And you're welcome.

:wave:

[slinkster]

woohoo! thanks Donney!

[Eki]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Welcome back.

[LeonBrooke]

... but I'm most definitely back. :D

Welcome back :)

Do you know the reason? Or is it unexplained even to yourself? And will we need a note from your parent or guardian?

[airshifter]

... but I'm most definitely back. :D

You can only return after unexplained absence if you were invited. Otherwise you have to return with an explanation.

Now explain yourself! :laugh:

[Ian McC]

Explain the unexplained then? :p :

[race aficionado]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Welcome back.

awwwww . . . that is sweet Eki.

Welcome back Slinkster.

:s mokin:

[Erki]

One reason not to leave the forum... :)
Welcome back :) :up:

[oily oaf]

Thank Gawd your back mate.
I've had more than a few abusive PMs demanding to know whether I've got you manacled to the lawnmower in me shed :(

Welcome back love :)

[CarlMetro]

So long as you submitted the correct form 14b in triplicate, using a red pen, to request a leave of absense, obviously excluding sections 4 and 7a and have now submitted your 15a and 15c re-entry to the fold forms in green ink, omitting section 3 on both, then I cannot see that there is any need to explain your absense other than the small fact that we are all nosey gits who want to know.

Welcome back Slinky, nice to have you back :)

[Sleeper]

Welcome back Slinky

[slinkster]

well I could explain but it'll be far too complicted so i'll leave it all to your imaginations. :) Nice to be back

[AndySpeed]

But you were only really 'gone' for a couple of weeks - that's not much is it?

[slinkster]

well not in say a lifetime I guess not... just thought i'd reintroduce my presence that's all... nothing cocky about it. :)

[Dave B]

well I could explain but it'll be far too complicted so i'll leave it all to your imaginations. :) Nice to be back

Ok then. In my imagination you were climbing Ben Nevis. You were about halfway up when Ben started to choke so you stopped to perform the Heimlech manourvre on him but suddenly an albatross decended and swept you up in it's giant pink fibre-glass beak. Upon reaching 22,000 feet he changed course and started heading for Antwerp, pausing only to offer you in-flight snacks and as much argon as you could fit in your pocket. Politely declining his offer you managed to offend the albatross, who dropped you midway accross the English Channel. Narrowly missing the P&O ferry Pride of Calais you began swimming towards what you believed to be Dover but sadly your sense of direction was found wanting and as the climate became distinctly hot you began to realise that you were in fact heading south towards the North African coast. Washed up on a beach in Tunisia, you sought employment as a chartered surveyor for a small firm of tightrope walkers. After a few days you had saved up enough money for a Club Class air fair back to Blighty, arriving on Thursday morning just as Tony Blair was due to depart for Sedgefield. A mix up at the airport saw you heading by private plane to Durham Tees Valley where a shocked Alistair Campbell, expecting the PM, insisted that you don a wig and ludicrous false teeth and mime Tony's resignation speech while a semi-drunked Rory Bremner crouched under the lecturn and supplied the voice. Spurred on by your new-found political fame you turned your back on your old life, severing contact with your family and friends and mystifying passers-by with your cries of "look at me, I'm Hazell Blears and I can play electric guitar like the ghost of Hendrix". It was only a matter of time before the police were alerted, eventually arresting you after a Benny Hill-esque chase around the Lincolnshire countryside in which your clothing gradually fell off and you slapped a short bald man on the head for no apparent reason. A night in the cells, a caution, and a six pound book token later, you realised that your new lifestyle was bound to end in tears so made your escape, jogged home, booted up your computer, and the rest will one day be history.

The usual story, really.

:p

[jim mcglinchey]

...thats enough of that wicked strength coffee for you Dave, I suggest you try the de-caff, mate....

[Ian McC]

So long as you submitted the correct form 14b in triplicate, using a red pen, to request a leave of absense, obviously excluding sections 4 and 7a and have now submitted your 15a and 15c re-entry to the fold forms in green ink, omitting section 3 on both, then I cannot see that there is any need to explain your absense other than the small fact that we are all nosey gits who want to know.

Welcome back Slinky, nice to have you back :)

:mad:

It's black ink Carl, you should know this by now :rolleyes:

[Hazell B]

So we all searched for nothing? We worried and pined away for nothing? You were fine all along?

:D Welcome back :up:

[slinkster]

woah Dave... you could write novels! ;)

[Eki]

woah Dave... you could write novels! ;)
That's nothing. Oily can write opinionated letters to newspapers.

[LeonBrooke]

woah Dave... you could write novels! ;)

I have a better one:

You went out for dinner at a fancy restaurant one night, and through a series of events and happenings that night which we won't go into in detail, you found yourself walking home along a country road with no street lights, with the moon providing the only illumination.

An errant UFO came along, looking for a woman by the name of Sarah Dupres, who was born in Luxembourg but happens to be identical to you. Of course, they picked you up, and declined to believe that you weren't the master tactician that they were looking for.

The aliens forced you to take the rank of Grand Galactic Admiral, and to take charge of their total war effort against the Blie, a species from a far-away galaxy who were attempting to take over our galaxy.

Battle after battle were lost because you simply weren't used to this sort of combat, and before long the Blie had doubled their territory in our galaxy. Eventually you won three battles in a row, beginning to get the hang of it all, but by then it was too late - your abductors had lost too many resources and soldiers, and were forced to disband their army and surrender.

However, buoyed by the successes towards the end, they remained convinced that you were indeed Sarah, and they decided to put you on trial, convinced you'd deliberately sabotaged the early war effort, and you were sentenced to death, but you mounted a daring escape attempt involving a huge box of golf balls and a baboon.

You stole a small but very fast space ship and returned to earth, landing in the middle of Taranaki, and were forced to hike to Wellington, from where you took a temporary job as a graphic designer, until you'd saved up enough money to fly home on a standard plane.

...but the ship you stole is still in New Zealand, so the aliens will think you're still here. They attempt to carry out your sentence by dropping huge bombs on New Zealand, and I'll be incinerated.

Thanks :\

[slinkster]

:laugh: There are a few teeny bits of that which are strangely similar to my real life but I'll leave it up to you to decide which!

[LeonBrooke]

:) I knew it!