Proper Fantasy F1 - 2012

[Rollo]

Dec 27
Vitaly Petrov sings for new startup Tiger-Honda.

Tiger have Esso as their title sponsor and their cars have a big tiger on the engine cover. They have as a minor sponsor Kellogg's Frosties because apparently the new team is "grrrrrrreat!"

Whilst showing off the new car, team principle Nick Wirth also showed Bernie Eccleston Tiger's mascot, Terry the Tiger. Unfortunately Terry doesn't like vermin and Bernie was attacked and eaten.

On hearing this, Jacques Villeneuve who has frequently derided F1 for being too safe asked to join Tiger-Honda but was promptly told to go away for being a dozy git.

[Bagwan]

Stung , from the "dozy git" comment , Jacques , the ever astute businessman , saw an opportunity in it , and showed up long before the ambulance carrying Terry the tiger got to the veterinary clinic , ill from the meal it had just consumed .

Predictably , the tiger was revived , once the Ecclestone scat voided , but Jacques was one step ahead , and had secured the rights to the scat , and with it , the rights to all of F1 , as the rights had been secured to "Bernie , or whatever is left of him" in his final will and testement .
Now that Jacques had Bernie in his pocket , he was in control .

Immediately , Jacques mandated that large cats be required in all team garages , unteathered , to "keep the guys on thier toes" .

This was to have a desireable effect on the series for Jacques , himself , though it has never been proven that the move was deliberate , but rather more likely , instinctual .

The big cats were kept hungry for the spectacle , and mechanics had to be very careful if they turned thier backs , especially with jaguars , but most often it was the drivers picked off , as they were smaller , and didn't tend to have a wrench in thier hand .

It was exciting , with all the spurting blood and all , but the sponsors were concerned with all the spurting blood and all , covering up the logos on the cars .
The teams were starting to collect together , concerned with the negative on sponsorship procurement , except for Ferrari .

They being Italian , saw the opportunity to promote the Roman gladatorial aspect of having a lion behind your prancing horse , knowing they could keep the lion sufficiently drunk with a fine red in it's water bowl .
Besides , as they said "Our car issa red anyway , so the blooda wonna show ." .

The most desireable effect for Jacques was that , as the drivers were picked off , spots opened up on the grid , especially for those with any experience , no matter how long ago , as the older drivers were often slower and easier to catch for even drunken lions .
So , as the grid filled with names like Nigel , Stirling , Mario and Jos , Jacques finally got a call , saying he should come back , from Jock Clear , who had entered the field of lion training , calling from his bedside , after having been reguritated for the second time in two days .

Jacques , uninterested in lion training , except as a recreational activity , said , "Shut up , Jock ." , and hung up the phone .

He then mandated that at least one team named Ferrari must offer him the number one seat .


It was , at this pivottal moment , that the "FNV" , or "Formula No Villeneuve" was formed .

[N. Jones]

Dec 27
Vitaly Petrov sings for new startup Tiger-Honda.

Tiger have Esso as their title sponsor and their cars have a big tiger on the engine cover. They have as a minor sponsor Kellogg's Frosties because apparently the new team is "grrrrrrreat!"

Whilst showing off the new car, team principle Nick Wirth also showed Bernie Eccleston Tiger's mascot, Terry the Tiger. Unfortunately Terry doesn't like vermin and Bernie was attacked and eaten.

On hearing this, Jacques Villeneuve who has frequently derided F1 for being too safe asked to join Tiger-Honda but was promptly told to go away for being a dozy git.

So your the first entrant to FGP 2012? :D

Team:Tiger-Honda Sponsored by Esso
Owner:Rollo
Driver1:Vitaly Petrov
Driver2:TBD
Reserve Driver:TBD
Chassis:TBD
Engine:Honda
Bonus GP:TBD

[Rollo]

After Webber was seriously mauled by a lion, Red Bull decided to add to its garage, a red bull. This it was hoped would garner additional sponsorship and provide vital protection from lions. Unfortunately it merely attracted the attention of one Fernando Alonso, who being a Spaniard, had as a result of his schooling, been compulsorily trained in the art of bullfighting since the age of 5. To complete the trio Alonso had also scaled Everest, K2 and Kilimanjaro all from the inside... twice.
"There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games."

Seven time World Paragliding Paintball & Boxing Champion, Eddie Irvine, was lured back to F1 with a seat at Mercedes GP. He will host a new program on Sky Sports called "What's your problem?". The show, expected to last about 4 minutes long before every GP of the season, sees Eddie hunt down people in pit lane and ask the question before headbutting them if they fail to give a satisfactory answer.

[lennard2012]

hey i've just signed up to a Fantasy F1 (http://www.fantasyf1sport.com) site and created my team. Looks really good. Who wants to join a custom league?