Should we worry about Oily's cat?

[Hazell B]

He does some pretty mean things to his poor feline friend.

Should we inform the authorities or try talking the moggie into voting with it's paws? Anyone fancy rehoming a half mad cat with a boot shaped dent in it's bottom?

I think taking life's frustrations out on small fluffy felines is becoming a national hobby - one of our ponies started chasing the stable cat last week and still tries to grab the poor creature if it wanders within tooth range :mark:

Time to rise and stop this madness?
I think so!

[Ian McC]

Are we talking about GG24? :D

[Brown, Jon Brow]

I think we should worry about oily, never mind his cat :p

[LotusElise]

Didn't GG24 come to an unfortunate end?
I do worry for the safety of Oily's cat, but it sounds like a pretty tough kind of feline, much more of a sabre-toothed tiger than a tabby. I'm not sure I'd want to pick it up.

[RaikkonenRules]

I believe GG24 is still tyed up inside Oily's basement. :laugh:

[LotusElise]

No, that's Hotbikerchic.

GG24 perished in a hideous Oatibix-related incident IIRC.

[RaikkonenRules]

No, that's Hotbikerchic.

GG24 perished in a hideous Oatibix-related incident IIRC.

Do tell :D

[Rollo]

I have this theory that all black cats in the world are actually the same cat but they're on a timeshare agreement with a central server.

Think about it, they all practically look the same and there has to be a reasonable explanation as to why they spend so much time asleep and then mysteriously wake up at 3am and go insane on their night crazies.

More than likely it's a giant mainframe somewhere located somewhere like Andorra which also explains the bizarre modus operandii.

Oliy's Cat I would suspect is of the same model as one that was owned by a Mrs E Slocombe as both of them seem to have bizarre adventures. Mrs Slocombe was always talking about her cat.

I am unanimous in that!

[Ian McC]

No, that's Hotbikerchic.

GG24 perished in a hideous Oatibix-related incident IIRC.

I think you will find they are both locked in his basement, with room set aside for Daniel and Gannex next...

Who will be next after them?.............. :s ailor:

[race aficionado]

I wouldn't worry about Oily's cat.

We now finally know where Bill The Cat has taken residency.

They were made for each other.

They are so cute. :o


:s mokin:

[oily oaf]

No, that's Hotbikerchic.

GG24 perished in a hideous Oatibix-related incident IIRC.

I'd swear you were a witch sometimes my little lotus blossom (simper)
Why only yesterday I mixed up her dehydrated remains with some chicken jobbies and sprinkled them over the roots of "The Hedgerow Of Doom". It's what she would have wanted :fasttalk:

Now to get back on topic, I'd hate it if any of you were concerned about the welfare of my feline companion of many years "Wheelbrace".
I actually took him in as a "rescue" cat after a trip to London Zoo where I discovered him being quite pitilessly subjected to a violent sexual assault by a family of Gibbons round the back of the monkey house :monkeedan

Let me reassure you all that he is a much loved and deeply respected member of the Oaf clan.
We even take him on holidays abroad for Gawd's sake.
We managed to circumvent the oppressive quarantine regulations by firstly pop riveting his lips together before placing him gently inside a pair of Mrs Oaf's Dame Murray Walker Peekaboo Control Top Pantie Girdles "lovingly crafted by Vivienne Westwood for the more discerning lardy arsed tugboat"
How the little rascal thrives in the warm Iberian climate especially when we lash him to the TV aerial before going down to the beach and then using him as a heated towel rail upon our return and the look of unadulterated gratitude on his furry little mug as we nail him face first to the wall in the kitchen and then use his arse as tea towel holder is heartwarming fare indeed.

So put aside any irksome misgivings and rest assured that Wheelbrace is as cosseted and pampered as any moggy the entire length and breadth of this blessed Albion :)

(dons boxing gloves, inserts gumshield, pulls on ringboots and descends into basement for a punishing workout on The Heavy Cat)

Itchy and Scratchy Shoooooooooooow :vader:

[Hotbikerchic33]

Couldnt cuida un menos acerca de zoquete o su gato y yo adoro gatos como yo tengo 2 de mi propio! :D :p ;) :)

[LeonBrooke]

Couldnt cuida un menos acerca de zoquete o su gato y yo adoro gatos como yo tengo 2 de mi propio! :D :p ;) :)

I too had a cat once. What are the names of yours? :D

[Eki]

He does some pretty mean things to his poor feline friend.

Should we inform the authorities or try talking the moggie into voting with it's paws? Anyone fancy rehoming a half mad cat with a boot shaped dent in it's bottom?

I think taking life's frustrations out on small fluffy felines is becoming a national hobby - one of our ponies started chasing the stable cat last week and still tries to grab the poor creature if it wanders within tooth range :mark:

Time to rise and stop this madness?
I think so!
Hear, hear!

[oily oaf]

Hear, hear!

Where? Where?

[Eki]

Where? Where?
There, there.

[Erki]

You mean this Cat?

http://safety-boots.healthandsafetysupplies.co.uk/acatalog/cat.JPG

[Hotbikerchic33]

I too had a cat once. What are the names of yours? :D


ho 2 gatti di soriano Tom chiamato e Saccheggio :)

[Azumanga Davo]

Tom chiamato e Saccheggio is a long sodding name for a cat. English please...

[Hotbikerchic33]

Tom chiamato e Saccheggio is a long sodding name for a cat. English please...

non il suo la mia colpa che lei parla in gergo parla italiano :D

[fly_ac]

Uncle Oaf's cat must be the cleanest cat I've heard about and the cat should be used to the spin cycle by now as well. I'm wondering however if the cat has his own snorkel for breathing purposes. :)

[RaikkonenRules]

Can someone please tell us what 'Hot'BikerChic is on about?

[Eki]

Can someone please tell us what 'Hot'BikerChic is on about?

Quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne,
me vene quase 'na malincunia;
sotto 'a fenesta toia restarria
quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne.

[RaikkonenRules]

In english please. :D

[LeonBrooke]

I'm not convinced that Hotbikerchic's Italian is properly correct...

[oily oaf]

I'm not convinced that Hotbikerchic's Italian is properly correct...

Holy Mature Multi Linguists Bat Leon :eek:

I'm afraid you'll have to make allowances for the odd abberation in HBC's interpretations old son. Unfortunately the the translation engine she uses is administered by a Chinaman.

(dunks cat in morning coffee and places between 2 slices of bread)

[Hotbikerchic33]

I'm not convinced that Hotbikerchic's Italian is properly correct...

How do you know it isnt if you dont speak fluent italian??? :confused:

A meno che lei parla l'italiano correntemente come farebbe lei sa se scava era corretto o non posso assicurarla il mio italiano è la macchia su se lei ha indossato me crede che il suo problema! ;)

[Hotbikerchic33]

Holy Mature Multi Linguists Bat Leon :eek:

I'm afraid you'll have to make allowances for the odd abberation in HBC's interpretations old son. Unfortunately the the translation engine she uses is administered by a Chinaman.

(dunks cat in morning coffee and places between 2 slices of bread)

la zolla erbosa via dallo zoticone :D

[pino]

How do you know it isnt if you dont speak fluent italian??? :confused:

A meno che lei parla l'italiano correntemente come farebbe lei sa se scava era corretto o non posso assicurarla il mio italiano è la macchia su se lei ha indossato me crede che il suo problema! ;)

Your italian is as bad as my english :p :


Quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne,
me vene quase 'na malincunia;
sotto 'a fenesta toia restarria
quanno fa notte e 'o sole se ne scenne.

That's Neapolitan...not italian ;)

[pino]

btw let's stick to english...thanks :)

[Hotbikerchic33]

btw let's stick to english...thanks :)

No lascia non italiano è più divertimento di noiosi inglesi! :D

[RaikkonenRules]

Yes please some of us don't have the privledge of knowing Italien ;)

[Azumanga Davo]

No lascia non italiano è più divertimento di noiosi inglesi! :D

Noisy English eh? *throws oily's cat at translation machine, then realises and let's oily finish it for breakfast first...*

[oily oaf]

No lascia non italiano è più divertimento di noiosi inglesi! :D

Listen I'll put this simply so that you can understand it.
The game's up.
It's obvious to everybody that you are using an internet tool to translate English into other languages so it's time to drop the "I speak lots of foreign languages" cobblers.
You see the trouble with using this type of translation engine is that it cannot recognise the context of a sentence so you end up with a load of garbled nonsense interspersed with the odd English word as can be seen in your comical attempt at Spanish.
Do us all a favour and leave it out.
I'm afraid you are just making yourself look stupid.

Vale?

[Hazell B]

How do you know it isnt if you dont speak fluent italian??? :confused:




How do you know it isn't, if you don't speak fluent Italian ;)

Maybe your utter inability to master English is a clue :laugh:

Anyhow, back on topic ....
Rollo, can we prove the black cat Matrix type thingy? I'll prod my sleeping cat into movement and you check every other one on the planet, eh? Shouldn't take long :p :

[Eki]

I think taking life's frustrations out on small fluffy felines is becoming a national hobby - one of our ponies started chasing the stable cat last week and still tries to grab the poor creature if it wanders within tooth range :mark:

If that's the pony named Mouse, I can see why a cat makes him/her nervous.

[Hazell B]

:p : Hadn't thought of that Eki.
It is indeed young Mouse who's become a cat hater. If you've never seen a 200kg pony chasing a 1kg cat about in a muddy field, you haven't lived. It's without price. Much as the cat puffs himself up, he can't quite match a pony :laugh:

Maybe we should swap Oily's cat for Mouse?
That'd make him think twice about using it as a towel hanger :)

[LeonBrooke]

How do you know it isnt if you dont speak fluent italian??? :confused:

I know enough to tell that you've been using a machine to write your Italian, much like everyone else :D

[donKey jote]

What was that book you're reading?
How to survive a translator robot uprising? :D
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_166.gif

[LeonBrooke]

What was that book you're reading?
How to survive a translator robot uprising? :D
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_166.gif

Judging by the evidence of this thread I think we're well-protected :D