PDA

View Full Version : As I get older.........



CarlMetro
20th March 2007, 21:22
I have learned many things, some of them useful, some of them not........

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, although you can stalk them until they panic and give in

I've learned that no matter how nice I am, there will always be ar$eholes in this world

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and that it only takes suspicion, not proof to break that trust.

I've learned that you can get by on wit and charm for about fiteen minutes, after that you need to have either big boobs or a huge willy (preferably not both though)

I've learned that you can keep on vommiting long after you think you are finished

I've learbed that we are held responsible for what we do, unless we are a celebrity.

I've learned that the people we care most about in our lives are taken away too soon, whilst those less important keep hanging on forever

I've learned that if something in your house is broken, that you kid touched it last.

Hazell B
20th March 2007, 21:38
I've learned how to do some computer things, but never how to copy and paste :p :

Carl, just how big are your boobs?

LotusElise
20th March 2007, 21:43
I have learned that Cillit Bang is dangerous in large quantities in enclosed areas.

More seriously, I have found out that it is true that you have to find out what you don't want before you really know what you do want out of life.

Rollo
20th March 2007, 23:25
After you come back from holidays, always do the zips on your luggage up so that the spiders don't crawl in.

Don't argue with women, Customs Officers, Americans, the Inland Revenue, MI5 or referees because all of these people are always "right".

In general Rugby League fans are slightly more thick than the general populace and have difficulty understanding simple concepts.

Cleavage, shoes, Aston Martins, surgery on television and Chocolate Pizza from Max Brenna is like looking at the sun, you should only look at for very short moments of time or suffer dire consequences.

Ian McC
20th March 2007, 23:27
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, although you can stalk them until they panic and give in



That explains a lot :p :

CarlMetro
20th March 2007, 23:34
Carl, just how big are your boobs?

Bigger than yours :p :

Brown, Jon Brow
20th March 2007, 23:40
AS i get older i get less intelligated

The Kitten Kat
21st March 2007, 22:52
The older I get, the more cynical I am!

Also, the older I get apparently the more wicked and devious I become! ;) I took that as a compliment! As I said to that person, wickedness has five levels, the same as Maslow's hierarchy of needs... and right now I'm at the top level! :p

RaceFanStan
22nd March 2007, 02:44
As I get older I have learned ...
that too many times what I think is funny sometimes comes across twisted or mean to others. :s

jso1985
22nd March 2007, 03:09
I have learnt that discussing with a commie is like competing in the special olympics, whoever wins is still a retarded.
so i only discuss about football and women nowadays

LeonBrooke
22nd March 2007, 08:42
I have learned that Cillit Bang is dangerous in large quantities in enclosed areas.

I hope you didn't find that out the hard way :eek:


More seriously, I have found out that it is true that you have to find out what you don't want before you really know what you do want out of life.

On that note, I agree. A particular holiday work experience has told me which areas of nursing I want to go into...

Camelopard
22nd March 2007, 12:25
The older I get I have learned that I'm getting more and more disenchanted with the human race, too much greed and corruption. Too much consumerism, in particular advertising aimed at children. Too many cynical politicians looking after their weathly mates and not the ones that actually voted for them.
Too much exploitation of other species for scientific research (whales), s*xual improvement (tiger bones, rhino horn etc), destruction of habitat (oranutangs and many others), destruction of old growth forests for short sighted immediate financial gain and so on, list is endless.
I'm sooo glad that I made a decision not to have children, I hate to think what the world will be like in 50 years time......... now where's my prozac and bottle of red wine.

Hazell B
22nd March 2007, 20:30
Bigger than yours :p :

Perhaps, but my willy beats yours into oblivion :p :

Ian McC
22nd March 2007, 20:56
Perhaps, but my willy beats yours into oblivion :p :

Now everyone knows what you two get up to at BTCC meets :D

Hazell B
22nd March 2007, 21:14
Jeez no! Sam would do me in if she read that.

Or laugh herself to an early grave :laugh:

johnny shell
23rd March 2007, 14:35
it's nice to say all americans always think they're right.

only the ones who we elect to power always think they're right.

so take that back right now, and admit you're wrong, or else I'm going to come over there so swisserland - or whatever country that red cross flag represents - and MAKE you take it back. :bandit:

(only being sarcastic of course mate!)

vanillagirl85
23rd March 2007, 20:27
As I get older I have learned ...
that too many times what I think is funny sometimes comes across twisted or mean to others. :s

No no no, the real lesson is: the older you get, the more sensitive everyone else gets, the f**kers

LotusElise
23rd March 2007, 21:39
I hope you didn't find that out the hard way :eek:



Unfortunately, yes. I poured loads of it into the shower tray in my tiny bathroom with its non-functional window. It took about five minutes for the dizziness, runny eyes and chest pain to start!
I ended up calling my dad, who is a qualified First Aider. The only way to get rind of the fumes was leaving the shower and the extractor fan on full blast while I got some air outside.

LeonBrooke
24th March 2007, 06:46
Unfortunately, yes. I poured loads of it into the shower tray in my tiny bathroom with its non-functional window. It took about five minutes for the dizziness, runny eyes and chest pain to start!
I ended up calling my dad, who is a qualified First Aider. The only way to get rind of the fumes was leaving the shower and the extractor fan on full blast while I got some air outside.

Glad to hear you escaped that one okay!

It was a miracle you didn't pass out, because if you had it would have been the end of you.