Happy Birthday Oaf!

[schmenke]

(O.k., o.k., I picked up on the hint... :uhoh: )

Happy birthday mate! :)
Hope you're enjoyng your day!
Now put down that Japanese lump and celebrate with a cold one, or two! :beer: :up:

[oily oaf]

What a completely unexpected and totally unsolicited pleasure that was Schmenkey. :)
Wasn't too bloody painful was it? :mad:

(withdraws head from gas oven, turns off supply and relights pipe.......................................KA-BOOOOOOM!)

[Donney]

Feliz Cumpleaños Mr. Oaf!!!!!!! :beer:

[tinchote]

Happy Birthday! :)

:wave:

[BDunnell]

Many happy returns of the day.

[Hazell B]

Strange how it's so close to April 1st :p :

Happy Birthday :D

[fly_ac]

Happy Birthday Uncle Oaf :D

Hope you enjoy the day and have many more spin cycle's left. (poor cat) :p

[Captain VXR]

Happy birthday Oily. Don't forget to give your prisoners some cake :D

[Brown, Jon Brow]

Happy Birthday


ChummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmP

[Eki]

Happy Birthday, Oily O'Ink!

[luvracin]

Happy Birthday...

Many happy shipping forecasts.

[edv]

Happy Bday! I'm sure Mark from Oshawa will be visiting you shortly to share a pint. Or is he in Buenos Aires today?

[emporer_k]

Happy Birthday

[CarlMetro]

Many happy returns of your birthday Oily :beer:

Have you let GG24 and hotbikerchic out of the shed in celebration or are they still 'working' off their rent?

[LotusElise]

Happy birthday Mr Oaf,

There's some spaghetti with a load of candles on it on the worktop if you fancy it.

[donKey jote]

I wish you the happiest of birthdays, oily. :up:
Hope you enjoyed the carrot cake ...









... I sent your missus :p :
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_166.gif

[slinkster]

Happy Birthday Oily!!! :D Have a goodun

[Daniel]

happy birthday Mr Oaf

[pino]

Happy Birthday Oily :up:

[Gannex]

Happy Birthday, Your Oiliness; we are proud to be your flock.

[Jaws]

Happy Birthday Pops you ol fart. Hope you received the keg of Fosters and the Steve Irwnin Khaki shorts in the post.

Jawsy

[raikk]

Jesus It's your birthday again? I thought we just celebrated it not to long ago .. ohh well.. have a good one Oily!

[Storm]

Happy B'day dear Oily ..and may the Hammers stay up!

[race aficionado]

Well, well . . . . so the day finally came.
proof of some sort that Oily actually was born -

And I find that actually refreshing because I for one really enjoy your presence in this planet of ours

- and one of these days you will actually share with us which planet you come from exactly - and my 10 year old son would happily say with a big noughty smile - "Uranus!"

Happy birthday Oily :)

:s mokin:

[oily oaf]

Darling Sycophantic Imperialist Jackals

I should like to thank each and every one of you that has commended me on my somewhat surprising achievement of reaching the age of hrumphy two.
However instead of that I'm going to thank a nice bit of posh from Surrey and her younger sister who in 1975 rather sportingly made their bodily particles freely available to a young engineering student from East London and made my passage through the British educational system a far more palatable experience than would normally have been the case.
So thank you girls you'll always retain a special place in my heart and in the collective hearts of the members of greasemonkeys.org who have been leering and pointing at the uploaded candid snapshots of you both that I have been posting since the dawn of the interweb.

Oily Oaf born 20/3/55 died 21/3/07 from lager and Paracetamol poisoning................probably.

(hits cat over head with empty Grolsh bottle and vomits ferociously into wastepaper basket)

[oily oaf]

(feels sorry for cat, places lit pipe in its mouth and shows it series of holiday snaps taken at Southend in 1987)

[reidy_fan]

belated happy birthday Oily, did you get that crate of London Pride I sent you??? no...... well i will send you a crate when West 'am win something :-)

[Hotbikerchic33]

Lo zoticone di Compleanno felice spero che lei ha avuto un grande compleanno :) :D ;)

[Woodeye]

A bit late...

.. but still Happy Birthday to you mr. Oaf! :D

[Caroline]

Even later, Happy Birthday and all that.

:)

[oily oaf]

Lo zoticone di Compleanno felice spero che lei ha avuto un grande compleanno :) :D ;)

BAD GIRL! NAUGHTY GIRL! IN YOUR SHED! :mad:

Are you an Italian lady perchance HBC?
I myself am of Italian stock you know.

(conceals handgun in cistern, places severed horse's head in cat's bed, dusts off picture of Gina Lollobrigida and starts to sing:

When the moon hits your your eye like a big pizza pie
That's Amore
When you walk down the street with the clouds at your feet
That's amore
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming Signoooooooore
Scuzza me but you see back in old Napoli
That's amore.

(garottes cat from behind and pours out nice glass of Valpollicella)

[LeonBrooke]

Happy birthday Oily, all the best for the coming year :)

[Hotbikerchic33]

BAD GIRL! NAUGHTY GIRL! IN YOUR SHED! :mad:

Are you an Italian lady perchance HBC?
I myself am of Italian stock you know.

(conceals handgun in cistern, places severed horse's head in cat's bed, dusts off picture of Gina Lollobrigida and starts to sing:

When the moon hits your your eye like a big pizza pie
That's Amore
When you walk down the street with the clouds at your feet
That's amore
When you walk in a dream but you know you're not dreaming Signoooooooore
Scuzza me but you see back in old Napoli
That's amore.

(garottes cat from behind and pours out nice glass of Valpollicella)

No not italian but i can speak fluent italian,spanish,portugeuse and french! :D

[LeonBrooke]

No not italian but i can speak fluent italian,spanish,portugeuse and french! :D

Impressive :up:

[A.F.F.]

Happy belated birthday to you Oaf. But I have to say you are one crazy ******* :D

[oily oaf]

No not italian but i can speak fluent italian,spanish,portugeuse and french! :D

MA RAPARIGA! RAPARIGA LEVADA! POR DENTRO DA SUA CASINHOLA! :mad:

Quatro linguas Europeus?! :eek:
E mesmo uma maravillha!
Como e que a senhora aprende tantas linguas?

PS Thanks AFF. Your ability to judge the human mental condition does you great credit mate ;)

[Curryhead]

Oooop's, sorry Oaf, missed it, hopes ya had a proper knees up mate :)

[RaikkonenRules]

Happy Birthday Oaf :beer:

and here's one for GG24 if she's still tyed up in your basement :beer: :laugh:

[stevie_gerrard]

Its the Oafs Birthday?? :eek: I forgot his present, hes not gonna be a happy bunny...... :p :

Happy birthday to you mate, hope you had a good one, dont let West Ham get you down on this glorious day :p :

:beer:

[Hotbikerchic33]

MA RAPARIGA! RAPARIGA LEVADA! POR DENTRO DA SUA CASINHOLA! :mad:

Quatro linguas Europeus?! :eek:
E mesmo uma maravillha!
Como e que a senhora aprende tantas linguas?

PS Thanks AFF. Your ability to judge the human mental condition does you great credit mate ;)


El zoquete su doesnt del mensaje tiene infact de sentido su una carga de la mierda pero oye ho! le hizo tiene un cumpleaños buenos con mucha cerveza? ???

[oily oaf]

El zoquete su doesnt del mensaje tiene infact de sentido su una carga de la mierda pero oye ho! le hizo tiene un cumpleaños buenos con mucha cerveza? ???

Hold up a minute!

I ask you a question in Portuguese which is one of the languages in which you claim to be fluent and you fail to answer, choosing instead to reply in dodgy Espanol laced with some English words and some rather uncomplimentary Spanish ones.
It couldn't be down to the fact that you are simply putting English sentences into a translation engine and typing out the result could it? :s mokin:
Unfortunately my Spanish can't hold a candle to my Portuguese but I did manage to decipher the words "blockhead" and "sh!t from your prose so I can only assume that you weren't inviting me out to dinner.
I smell mierda de toro folks ;)

Ah well "Vai se foder" and all that

[Donney]

Hold up a minute!

I ask you a question in Portuguese which is one of the languages in which you claim to be fluent and you fail to answer, choosing instead to reply in dodgy Espanol laced with some English words and some rather uncomplimentary Spanish ones.
It couldn't be down to the fact that you are simply putting English sentences into a translation engine and typing out the result could it? :s mokin:
Unfortunately my Spanish can't hold a candle to my Portuguese but I did manage to decipher the words "blockhead" and "sh!t from your prose so I can only assume that you weren't inviting me out to dinner.
I smell mierda de toro folks ;)

Ah well "Vai se foder" and all that

So she's babelfish fluent


http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy097.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

[oily oaf]

So she's babelfish fluent


http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy097.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

I just Googled babelfish Donney and I think that's about the size of it amigo ;)

[SOD]

missed this thread.

enjoy the pints! don't be found stocious on the tottenham court road :beer:

[oily oaf]

missed this thread.

enjoy the pints! don't be found stocious on the tottenham court road :beer:

Thanks mate :D
Dont worry I never go to anywhere associated with Tottenham
Middle of the road football team
Ugly women.... FACT!
Sorry Carl ;)

[CarlMetro]

Middle of the road football team
Ugly women.... FACT!

No arguments from me on either point there ;)

[LeonBrooke]

Hold up a minute!

I ask you a question in Portuguese which is one of the languages in which you claim to be fluent and you fail to answer, choosing instead to reply in dodgy Espanol laced with some English words and some rather uncomplimentary Spanish ones.
It couldn't be down to the fact that you are simply putting English sentences into a translation engine and typing out the result could it? :s mokin:
Unfortunately my Spanish can't hold a candle to my Portuguese but I did manage to decipher the words "blockhead" and "sh!t from your prose so I can only assume that you weren't inviting me out to dinner.
I smell mierda de toro folks ;)

Ah well "Vai se foder" and all that

I thought so too.............

[oily oaf]

I thought so too.............

Call me a cynical young super lurve god if you like Leon but when somebody who finds it a bit tricky to string together a coherent sentence in their mother tongue suddenly turns round and announces that they can speak 5 different languages fluently the old bullsh!t antennae start to twitch like the clappers.

Nice try HBC but if you want to mug people off try the Arsenal Fanzine site.
They even believe they're an "English" footie team fer Chrissake :dozey:

[LeonBrooke]

Call me a cynical young super lurve god if you like Leon ...

:laugh: There are many things I may call you, But I hope never to know enough to be able to call you that!

[Bebee]

Happy Birthday! :)

[oily oaf]

Happy Birthday! :)

Thank you that's very kind but unfortunately Mr Oaf has died of old age and sexual fatigue whilst waiting for your birthday message :(

Yours in deepest mourning
Dr Albie Alterboyfan
Arsebishop of Camdenbury.

Seriously Thanks Bebee and thanks to everybody who was good enough to celebrate my steady progress towards my eagerly awaited demise.
Cheers guys
Oily :)

[Bebee]

Thank you that's very kind but unfortunately Mr Oaf has died of old age and sexual fatigue whilst waiting for your birthday message :(

Yours in deepest mourning
Dr Albie Alterboyfan
Arsebishop of Camdenbury.

Seriously Thanks Bebee and thanks to everybody who was good enough to celebrate my steady progress towards my eagerly awaited demise.
Cheers guys
Oily :)

That's seriously the most imaginative compliment anyone's ever given me! :laugh:

As for celebrating your steady progress towards your eagerly awaited demise.... errr... that was Ody's idea... :uhoh: :p :