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Wade91
20th February 2011, 05:27
i was at walmart ad (https://www.weeklyads2.com/walmart/) today doing some shopping today, (my mom gave me a shopping list) and i wanted to have a little fun while i was there,

so i decided to see how far i could throw a football across the store, i looked at some footballs at the store, and i picked out one of those soft ones so if it hit someone they wouldn't get hurt, i went into the shoe department towards the back of the store (where there wern't many people around) and i threw the football and it went over a shelf and into the main aisle in front of the shoe department, and then i could hear some people talking in the main aisle, i couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but i got the impression that they had been surprised by the football, so i decided to turn my shopping cart around and get the hell out of there before they decided to find out who threw the football, but just before i left the aisle i looked back to see if anyone was looking, and i saw a man at the end of the aisle looking at me, so i went the the end of the next aisle, and there he was on the other end of that one to! so i started pushing my cart along the back aisle, and evey side aisle i looked down, he was on the other end of it looking at me, i could tell he had a rather un-happy look on his face (like he had just been hit with a football or somthing :p ) so i picked up my pace, but it made no diffronce, he was still at the other end of every side aisle stalking me, so after i had pushed my cart about halfway across the store trying to lose this guy, i got to the CD/DVD department, where there were quite a few other people around, so i stopped there and picked up a CD and pretended to be looking at it, and then the guy who was stalking me started walking up the CD aisle from the other end and a pretty fast pace, and i could tell he had a pretty angry look on his face, as he approched me,

he walked up to me and said: "did you throw that football!?"

and i said:"what football??"

and he said: "that football that hit me! i know you threw it! dont f*** around boy!

and then he walked away,

luckily not all people are like that guy though, a little bit later while i was there i got another football and threw it in the frozen food section, it went over the row of freezers, and into the next aisle, i had no idea who was on that aisle (if anyone) but then i heard some girls laughing in that aisle, so i walked over there to see what was going on, and there were two girls about my age playing catch with the football, one of the girls failed to catch it and it rolled across the floor next to me, so i picked it up, and threw it to her, a few minutes i saw them walking towards the front of the store with the football, i guess they had decided to buy it :p i dont think eaither one of them knew that i was the one who originally threw the football to their aisle, but i think the way the who thing went was pretty cool :D

markabilly
20th February 2011, 06:24
i was

a few minutes i saw them walking towards the front of the store with the football, i guess they had decided to buy it :p i dont think eaither one of them knew that i was the one who originally threw the football to their aisle, but pretty cool :D
they do now, gluistein

Koz
20th February 2011, 09:37
Cool story bro.

But then again, the reality is none of this ever happened. You didn't go to walmart, you didn't throw a ball, and most importantly there were no girls... You are sitting in your mother's basement in a self made pit of solitude, narcissism and delusional fantasy. And you will live with your mother so long as she is alive, and probably for a few months after she's passed on.


Life is hard on all of us. I will pray for you. :D

Sleeper
21st February 2011, 20:47
Compared to your other stories of stupidity and vandalism, this one was rather tame.

Daniel
21st February 2011, 23:35
Incidently Wade, is your avatar meant to be the result of your IQ test?

AndySpeed
22nd February 2011, 00:25
Aren't you supposed to do keepie-uppies or something to impress the lasses with footballs, not throw them around!?

Wade91
22nd February 2011, 07:12
Incidently Wade, is your avatar meant to be the result of your IQ test?
its actually Juan Pablo Montoya's number in nascar :p i remember taking a IQ test on facebook once though, i think i scored like 86, i'm not sure how good that is though

Wade91
22nd February 2011, 07:14
Aren't you supposed to do keepie-uppies or something to impress the lasses with footballs, not throw them around!?
well,throwing them around seems to work for Brett Farve :p

MrJan
22nd February 2011, 09:30
Another forum I'm on is full of multiple accounts, some used to create arguments and others just for comedy value. Even with all those other multis, I think that Wade is probably my second favourite, if only I could work out who he actually is.

CaptainRaiden
22nd February 2011, 10:00
The saddest part is that I ended up reading it all, even though after the first 5 words I knew it was heading for loser heaven. This proves that I'm a masochist. :(

Caroline
22nd February 2011, 11:48
I have seen some of Wade's posts and the most amazing thing for me is not the content of his writing (no, really), but the apparent huge improvement in his spelling, grammar and punctuation. It miraculous! It's unbelieveable! Is it really the same guy?

Retro Formula 1
22nd February 2011, 12:16
I have seen some of Wade's posts and the most amazing thing for me is not the content of his writing (no, really), but the apparent huge improvement in his spelling, grammar and punctuation. It miraculous! It's unbelieveable! Is it really the same guy?

Perhaps having an alter-ego dramatically improves your comprehension and language skills. Look at the amazing leap in English that Tamburello's other identity made :laugh:

Wade91
22nd February 2011, 12:57
I have seen some of Wade's posts and the most amazing thing for me is not the content of his writing (no, really), but the apparent huge improvement in his spelling, grammar and punctuation. It miraculous! It's unbelieveable! Is it really the same guy?
yes, i feel like my writing skills have improved over the past few months sense i've been using spellcheck more, glad you noticed :)

granted, i realize its not 100% perfect, but despite posts that i've made on this site in the past about being to lazy to use spellcheck, i've recently found that its worth taking a few seconds to make sure what i'm typing is legible, and i figure its been kinda helping be improve my spelling skills in general, cause as of recently i've found that sometimes i'm not even having to use spellcheck a whole lot

UltimateDanGTR
22nd February 2011, 15:50
so, what right minded person would decide to play sports with himself in walmart?

Captain VXR
22nd February 2011, 23:52
Incidently Wade, is your avatar meant to be the result of your IQ test?

ahahahaha :D

Hondo
23rd February 2011, 02:24
Ah Wade91! The women of America owe a debt of gratitude to you and those like you. As long as you exist and breath air, there will always be a good argument for legal abortion.

schmenke
25th February 2011, 16:15
i was at walmart today ...

Why does that not surprise me... :dozey:

veeten
25th February 2011, 17:03
sure it wasn't any of these people?... :p :

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ :rotflmao:

Jag_Warrior
27th February 2011, 07:07
Compared to your other stories of stupidity and vandalism, this one was rather tame.

This one was pretty good. But I liked the one where he danced on top of that guy's car better. Also, the one where he spread garbage all over his neighborhood wasn't bad either. Yelling at his mother at the dentist's office was probably the weakest one so far.

amoo17
27th February 2011, 12:53
lol cool story