Chigley
2nd March 2007, 23:38
OJ's rules of motor-racing:
1. Body Contact is a Class-C offence, and is punishable by immediate confiscation of one or both rear wings
2. Proper repair work should always be carried out if cable ties, duck tape, hammering and crowbar adjustment have all failed
3. Track layouts are non-negotiable, specifically chicanes and the last half mile of Snetterton
4. A sprained wrist from not letting go of the steering wheel during a crash does not constitute a racing injury
5. Sideways is not the fastest way round, but it is the widest
6. Gravel traps are escapable if entered at speed... this includes both track and Armco sides
7. Despite common belief, do or die last lap manoeuvres are unlikely to result in successful completion of the race
8. Commentary coverage is an indication of both entertaining and crap driving
9. Obscene gestures to other drivers are likely to be shown in end of year DVD footage
10. Altering your vehicle's setup during a season is limited to Anti-Roll bar adjustment/replacement. Any other changes will result in the competitor being renamed 'Hugh' by Deed-Poll
11. Lead ballast may be fitted if required to achieve minimum weight. Some Drivers choose to consume dodgy paddock burgers to compensate, although more care should be taken to stopping at the required weight than has been the case in previous years
12. Mobile chicanes may be installed in mixed class races
1. Body Contact is a Class-C offence, and is punishable by immediate confiscation of one or both rear wings
2. Proper repair work should always be carried out if cable ties, duck tape, hammering and crowbar adjustment have all failed
3. Track layouts are non-negotiable, specifically chicanes and the last half mile of Snetterton
4. A sprained wrist from not letting go of the steering wheel during a crash does not constitute a racing injury
5. Sideways is not the fastest way round, but it is the widest
6. Gravel traps are escapable if entered at speed... this includes both track and Armco sides
7. Despite common belief, do or die last lap manoeuvres are unlikely to result in successful completion of the race
8. Commentary coverage is an indication of both entertaining and crap driving
9. Obscene gestures to other drivers are likely to be shown in end of year DVD footage
10. Altering your vehicle's setup during a season is limited to Anti-Roll bar adjustment/replacement. Any other changes will result in the competitor being renamed 'Hugh' by Deed-Poll
11. Lead ballast may be fitted if required to achieve minimum weight. Some Drivers choose to consume dodgy paddock burgers to compensate, although more care should be taken to stopping at the required weight than has been the case in previous years
12. Mobile chicanes may be installed in mixed class races