Adoption and fostering

[Sonic]

Has anyone been involved either as a parent or perhaps as a child?

[Mark in Oshawa]

My mother in law was a foster mom on occasion...and other's in the family did the foster parent thing.....cant say tho as if they found it THAT rewarding. Tough gig that....adoption would be a LOT easier mentally.

[GridGirl]

No, but there was a couple who lived in my street when I was a kid that were foster parents. I ended up making friends with lots of the kids they fostered. Some were really nice, some were messed up, some stayed for years and some only a few weeks. :)

[Sonic]

My mother in law was a foster mom on occasion...and other's in the family did the foster parent thing.....cant say tho as if they found it THAT rewarding. Tough gig that....adoption would be a LOT easier mentally.

Yeah, as you say tough gig. I was reading something that suggested a crisis looming in foster care as all the current foster families are ageing and are not being replaced.

[Easy Drifter]

My ex was an adopted child. A more loving pair of parents you could not find.
When their health fell apart in a big way she, and I guess I, did everything we could for them.
He was a complete klutz but still very likeable. Confined to a wheelchair after a cancer operation.
She was a real sweetheart and also in a wheelchair after a couple of strokes.
But just genuine people.

[markabilly]

being a foster parent is very tough as too often you become attached but only see the child go back to a relative or the same parent from whom the child was taken, and you know in your heart, that this is NOT good.....nothing more than tossing the child back into the hell hole from which they came.

And the USA is far worse than many countries, lots of due process and lawyer stuff, the adoption process takes over a year, and at anytime, the bio parents can show up and grab the child back and even after adoption, the bio is likely to keep popping up, which about 95% of the time, only causes more grief with the child.

Bio vs adoption----my opinion is that people who are adopt are by far more likely to be good and great parents.

I think it is because the adoption process requires more thought, effort and willingness and even more parent education than just having sex and popping out babies....but maybe because I am prejudiced by the fact that all of our children are adopted.

BTW- Many adoptive parents who have had both bio and adopted children, that once the attachment phase is over, they will tell you the relationship is the same.....and is exactly the same as the children do not appreciate you no matter how much you do and love them, and then they turn into teenagers :eek: :eek: :eek: .....

But if I had it to do all over again, the only thing I would change is that we should have started adopting earlier and adopted more......In Schindler's List, at the end, he breaks down and says he should have done more, like traded his car for just two or three more lives he could have saved.....