Wedding Lists

[GridGirl]

A friend of mine is getting married in about six weeks time. We got the invitation and inside was a little card detailing thier Debenhams wedding list. We purchased a few items a few weeks ago. The said friend came to visit last Saturday and we were talking about Denby dinnerware and they mentioned that not much of the Denby had been brought from the list. As I'd purchased four plates myself and I was a little bored at lunch I thought I'd have another look. The list must have trippled in size since I'd brought my gift and it was on the large side back then. So I added everything to my basket and it came to a grand total of £3337.34! This is discluding the value of anything that at least 5 other people I know who have already brought gifts.

Is it just me or this list really excessive? I've been thinking about causing wedding list havock ever sinse. If hadn't already brought my gift I would be very tempted to buy one fork, three spoons, one red wine glass and one cup and one noodle bowl in the hope that a few other people would also do the same. It could cost them a small fortune to buy all the items to make a full set of whatever. The other part of me wants to tell them in the kindest way that they appear to be greedy beggers and people as childish as me will buy all the random things just because it would be quite funny. I am torn. Should I say something?

[slorydn1]

A friend of mine is getting married in about six weeks time. We got the invitation and inside was a little card detailing thier Debenhams wedding list. We purchased a few items a few weeks ago. The said friend came to visit last Saturday and we were talking about Denby dinnerware and they mentioned that not much of the Denby had been brought from the list. As I'd purchased four plates myself and I was a little bored at lunch I thought I'd have another look. The list must have trippled in size since I'd brought my gift and it was on the large side back then. So I added everything to my basket and it came to a grand total of £3337.34! This is discluding the value of anything that at least 5 other people I know who have already brought gifts.

Is it just me or this list really excessive? I've been thinking about causing wedding list havock ever sinse. If hadn't already brought my gift I would be very tempted to buy one fork, three spoons, one red wine glass and one cup and one noodle bowl in the hope that a few other people would also do the same. It could cost them a small fortune to buy all the items to make a full set of whatever. The other part of me wants to tell them in the kindest way that they appear to be greedy beggers and people as childish as me will buy all the random things just because it would be quite funny. I am torn. Should I say something?

My wife and I, we didn't do that. We had a really small simple wedding, and didn't ask for any gifts....heck we were both adults and we already had stuff, we just combined our stuff to make more stuff, if that makes any sense...

In our view, it would be akin to posting a list of things we we wanted for your birthday, or Christmas (etc). What happens if you don't get what you asked for? Are you supposed to be angry about it? (I'm using the term you genrically, I don't actually mean YOU GridGirl).

It's cute when we have the younger children put together the list of wanted toys for Santa to bring. But grown adults putting up a list of "get me's" is kinda rude if you ask me. Because if one can't afford to by a gift, then that person starts feeling guilty about it and may even decide not to go to the wedding because of it. (I've been that person a few times....)

[Mark in Oshawa]

It Is VERY bad taste for the bride to be, or her sucke....I Mean husband to be to comment on things bought or NOT bought on their wedding list. I would be tempted to take the gift FROM the list back and buy them something stupid.

It is rude for them to openly BEG for gifts off the list that THEY want. The whole point of a bridal registry was for the guests to not duplicate gifts, and yes, maybe buy something the couple wants, but good manners dictates they get what they get and like it and shut the heck up...

[gadjo_dilo]

We don't have the custom of wedding list. People prefere a small envelope with an amount of money. Before the wedding we ask how much costs the dish at the restaurant and the "gift" should be at least the double of the sum. So if it costs 200 euro you must offer 400. If you have 100 guests you gain at least 20000 euro which is a good start. Unfortunately on these circumstances the weddings have become a business. Some people are so greedy that they organize 2 parties, one in the city of bride's family, one in the city of the groom's.

[Easy Drifter]

When My wife and I got married we didn't ask for anything and indicated gifts were not required but if people wanted to give something handmade pottery was what we wanted. We collected it.
My mother (mommie dearist) decided we should have cut glass. We said in no uncertain terms we did not want cut glass. Well that is what came from her and all my parents' friends.
Guess what was in our first garage sale.

[Mark]

A friend of mine is getting married in about six weeks time.

Ooh! Me too! I'll be it's the same day.



We got the invitation and inside was a little card detailing thier Debenhams wedding list. We purchased a few items a few weeks ago. The said friend came to visit last Saturday and we were talking about Denby dinnerware and they mentioned that not much of the Denby had been brought from the list. As I'd purchased four plates myself and I was a little bored at lunch I thought I'd have another look. The list must have trippled in size since I'd brought my gift and it was on the large side back then. So I added everything to my basket and it came to a grand total of £3337.34! This is discluding the value of anything that at least 5 other people I know who have already brought gifts.


We had people buy us lots of stuff when we got engaged. Big stuff too like a bed, sofa, washing machine, LCD TV etc. So haven't asked for anything for the wedding itself. Some people have asked, is there anything you want and I'm like .... erm? I dunno, some wine?!

We've got most of the household stuff already and anything we would like costs several hundred pounds so we can't ask for that.

I've no idea what we will get, and tbh I'm not that bothered! So those who are coming, don't feel you have to spend lots ;) . I'm sure you wouldn't anyway :mad: :p

[MrJan]

Is the list full of expensive stuff or just lots of small things? Might be that they aren't after everything on the list and are just giving people a bit more choice. Personally I think it's a f***ing awful idea, if I were going to a wedding then the people would get whatever I gave them and I couldn't give a toss if they like/want it or not. If you've just got married it'd be a bad sign for the longevity of the relationship if all you do is worry about who got you what.

[GridGirl]

I just checked and the wedding is five weeks tomorrow so it's definately not Mark with the big fat greedy wedding list. :p

There are a couple of items that are quite high in value like a £280 Dyson and a £150 microwave and quite a few that are between £50-£100. The list is mostly made up of lots of small items such as the dinnerware and cutlery. Its just so large because they want 8 of everything and they want absolutely everything in the particular range. The dinnerware includes noodle bowls. Do they really need and will they ever use 8 noodle bowls for example? Probably not. I've just totalled the value of plates (and I havent counted the saucers) that they want bearing in mind I have already brought them some and it totals £255. There are only 2 of them and so many meals you can eat in a day. It's not hard to do the washing up. :p

I have no problem with buying them a gift but I think such a large and expensive list seems quite greedy and definately put you off buying them something full stop. If I'm honest I don't think that it is the bride that is asking for all this stuff either. I have a sneaky suspicion that it is the groom and he will be very disappointed.

[Mark]

There are a couple of items that are quite high in value like a £280 Dyson and a £150 microwave

Well we had a £100 microwave (even that was top of the range) and £400 TV and £300 sofa bought for us, but all of that was from close family. Not from some random people you've invited along.

Personally I think especially for those travelling reasonable distances it's enough expense for them to get there and stay overnight, and buy clothes etc for the day, than to buy a present too.

[Daniel]

A similar thing happened with my brothers wedding back in Australia at easter 2 years ago.

Just found the PDF in my email account and here are some of the more stupid requests. IMHO of course :D

White Goose Feather Down Indulgent Duvet King Size (9314588014191) $349.95
Health Stream Gold Series Performance Bike 150kg/ Silver (3534236) $599.00
Canon Race Photo (15433) $540.00

Sadly I can't find the other bit of the wedding list which had more silly stuff on it like large a 28cm Le Creuset cast iron pot and loads of (IMHO tasteless) Vera Wang Wedgwood including some naff vegetable dish which would cost almost as much as we've paid for 2 nice sets of Denby stuff :mark:

Just seems like some see a wedding as an opportunity to try and get people to deck their house out in nice homewares :mark: What annoyed me most though was the fact that most of the gifts were things that she wanted and not things that my brother would have wanted :(

[MrJan]

599 aussie dollars? Isn't that about £20, the robbing *******s :D :p :

[Daniel]

599 aussie dollars? Isn't that about £20, the robbing *******s :D :p :
Divide by about 2 and you get the value back then. The pound is very weak against the dollar now so it's ever worse.

[GridGirl]

Well we had a £100 microwave (even that was top of the range) and £400 TV and £300 sofa bought for us, but all of that was from close family. Not from some random people you've invited along.

Personally I think especially for those travelling reasonable distances it's enough expense for them to get there and stay overnight, and buy clothes etc for the day, than to buy a present too.

Don't even start me on going, staying over night or clothes for the day. :p We've been booked into a room for two nights at the hotel by the bride and groom which is going to cost £260. I would of much rather have stayed in the Premier Inn but as the other half is one of the best men the room was just booked on our behalf. I had to chuckle when we got shown a list of room bookings and ours say's 'still to be paid'. Yeah, thanks for consulting me on that!

The bride has even said that no female guests are allowed to wear black. Now I wouldnt have worn balck anyway but being told what to wear does annoy me especially when she wore a white and black outfit to the last wedding which we both attended. I'm having my revenge by wearing a giraffe print dress which I bought for £20 from eBay. I'm sure she wont like it. :D

[Daniel]

Don't even start me on going, staying over night or clothes for the day. We've been booked into a room for two nights at the hotel by the bride and groom which is going to cost £260. I would of much rather have stayed in the Premier Inn but as the other half is one of the best men the room was just booked on our behalf. I had to chuckle when we got shown a list of room bookings and ours say's 'still to be paid'. Yeah, thanks for consulting me on that!

The bride has even said that no female guests are allowed to wear black. Now I wouldnt have worn balck anyway but being told what to wear does annoy me especially when she wore a white and black outfit to the last wedding which we both attended. I'm having my revenge by wearing a giraffe print dress which I bought for £20 from eBay. I'm sure she wont like it.

I think weddings make strange people out of perfectly normal people :mark:

I REALLY liked my brothers wedding in Poland back in 2008 :) It was pretty much just family from both sides and a few mutual friends of my brother and his wife. I got asked on the morning "You don't mind being best man do you?" and I had to sign some forms written in Polish :mark: but it was all good. After the ceremony we got in a rather gawdy but distinctly Eastern European feeling limo and they had a few photos taken and then we went to this really nice lake with an island in the middle and had a meal there and stayed the night after a short trip to a seaside town on the Baltic. Next morning we woke up, had a stroll and I spent most of my time trapping wasps in coke bottles whilst being lazy. Think I caught about 30 or 40 :)

My other brothers wedding in Australia was an ordeal IMHO. After the ceremony in the church we then drove around Perth for a number of hours having photos taken at 4 or 5 different locations in the stinking heat in wedding clothes. We were asked jog down the street for action shots, we had to pose with hockey sticks :mark: we had to pose near a railway line etc etc etc etc etc. I did feel like I was going to collapse a few times that day. Then when we made our entrance into the reception I had to walk in with some woman who wasn't Caroline whilst Lets get loud by J Ho was playing rather loudly. I was so ****ing embarassed!

[Mark]

Don't even start me on going, staying over night or clothes for the day. :p We've been booked into a room for two nights at the hotel by the bride and groom which is going to cost £260.


Admittedly I've booked Daniel and Caroline into the hotel too ;) . But it's something like £50 for the night.. They have the option of going to the Premier Inn along the road if they want, we've got rooms booked there too, but I think it would be more :p

We went to a wedding for a friend of Karens and were expected to pay £200 for a nights stay :mark:

[Daniel]

Admittedly I've booked Daniel and Caroline into the hotel too ;) . But it's something like £50 for the night.. They have the option of going to the Premier Inn along the road if they want, we've got rooms booked there too, but I think it would be more :p

We went to a wedding for a friend of Karens and were expected to pay £200 for a nights stay :mark:
Nah, we'll rough it in the 500 thanks :p

[veeten]

Admittedly I've booked Daniel and Caroline into the hotel too ;) . But it's something like £50 for the night.. They have the option of going to the Premier Inn along the road if they want, we've got rooms booked there too, but I think it would be more :p

could've sworn that I heard a couple of birds in the background as I was reading that. All I heard was... 'cheap, cheap...' :p :

[Daniel]

Henners, did you subcontract the writing of the poem out to Saint Devote? :rotflmao:

[Alexamateo]

Here it's customary to register, but it's primarily for the convenience of the guests, to let them know what china pattern your bride has selected and her decorating style, and to avoid duplicate gifts.

It would be foolish and impossible to expect everything on the list to be bought. It also should provide a wide range of options. Your older wealthier relatives can buy you a complete place setting, and your broke friends can buy you a set of hand towels or a soap dispenser. In practice, you'll find that many will just opt to give cash. In some cases it's preferred, but it's gauche to just ask for money.

[airshifter]

People should be happy with whatever they get. Chances are if a young couple are too worried about material things they will need cash more than anything. You can pay the lawyer for a divorce with that. :laugh: