Hondo
2nd March 2010, 21:27
One night in the '90s, I was lying on the sofa watching the Charlie Rose Show on PBS. There was a guy on there introducing the Palm Pilot, which at the time, was a glorified notepad that was a bigger pain to use than a regular notepad. As I lay there thinking it was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen, it occurred to me that I had thought the same thing about Dockers pants and minivans. Dockers, with their cute little pleats, I mean, what man wants to flit around wearing women's trousers? Turns out, most of you.
The next morning I pulled up my brokerage account and bought 3000 shares of 3Com, the company behind the Palm device. Less than 2 months later I sold my holdings for almost 4 times what I'd paid for them.
I watched the shrewd make a killing off of the Y2K scare. I'm still watching them try to make a killing out of Global Warming. I have learned that crisis generates cash and if you have no crisis, it's not hard to make one.
So heres the deal. We form a corporation and everybody ponies up some investment cash. Some of the money is used to buy some of the board members PhD degrees from online universities. Some of the money will be used for initial product production. The rest of the money will be used to announce the crisis on late night TV and full page tabloid ads.
The crisis: Our researchers (trot out new PhDs) have reason to believe that the recent lack of solar activity combined with lowered CO2 emissions and disturbed vibratory harmonics from increased earthquake activity has produced a little known atmospheric condition we have identified as Enhanced Nitrogen Degradation, or END. We believe that as solar activity is beginning to increase again, END will begin to have a detrimental effect on the female epidermal structure. Our studies indicate the male DNA has a natural immunity to END.
The effect: Our studies further indicate that left untreated, the effects of Enhanced Nitrogen Degradation could cause the exposed female to look like Yoko Ono by the the end of 2012.
Prevention: Our own labs have developed (patent pending) a topical serum that, applied as a masque and left in place for 30 minutes, 5 times a week, will not only stop the asorbtion of enhanced nitrogen, it will also ensure a complete lifetime immunity after 6 months of continuous use.
Product: MeNoOno Masque Serum. 5 oz jar, $20.00 plus shipping and handling. Refrigerate after opening.
Bound to be a winner! I bet your average woman is more afraid of looking like Yoko Ono than she is of Global Warming.
Volunteers, investors?
I wonder what Vince the Sham Wow guy is doing now....
The next morning I pulled up my brokerage account and bought 3000 shares of 3Com, the company behind the Palm device. Less than 2 months later I sold my holdings for almost 4 times what I'd paid for them.
I watched the shrewd make a killing off of the Y2K scare. I'm still watching them try to make a killing out of Global Warming. I have learned that crisis generates cash and if you have no crisis, it's not hard to make one.
So heres the deal. We form a corporation and everybody ponies up some investment cash. Some of the money is used to buy some of the board members PhD degrees from online universities. Some of the money will be used for initial product production. The rest of the money will be used to announce the crisis on late night TV and full page tabloid ads.
The crisis: Our researchers (trot out new PhDs) have reason to believe that the recent lack of solar activity combined with lowered CO2 emissions and disturbed vibratory harmonics from increased earthquake activity has produced a little known atmospheric condition we have identified as Enhanced Nitrogen Degradation, or END. We believe that as solar activity is beginning to increase again, END will begin to have a detrimental effect on the female epidermal structure. Our studies indicate the male DNA has a natural immunity to END.
The effect: Our studies further indicate that left untreated, the effects of Enhanced Nitrogen Degradation could cause the exposed female to look like Yoko Ono by the the end of 2012.
Prevention: Our own labs have developed (patent pending) a topical serum that, applied as a masque and left in place for 30 minutes, 5 times a week, will not only stop the asorbtion of enhanced nitrogen, it will also ensure a complete lifetime immunity after 6 months of continuous use.
Product: MeNoOno Masque Serum. 5 oz jar, $20.00 plus shipping and handling. Refrigerate after opening.
Bound to be a winner! I bet your average woman is more afraid of looking like Yoko Ono than she is of Global Warming.
Volunteers, investors?
I wonder what Vince the Sham Wow guy is doing now....