Chav jokes [Archive] - Motorsport Forums

CarlMetro

14th February 2007, 21:21

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
A. "Will the defendant please rise"

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit
him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
A. What you looking at.

Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs

Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?
A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.

Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar*e.

Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
A. Because a nova has 4 seats.

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.

Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
A. Bigmac please.

Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?
A. A chav girl has a higher spe*m count.

Eki

14th February 2007, 21:34

Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs

Yes, everybody loves a slinkey.

LotusElise

14th February 2007, 21:37

I hope our very own Slinkster doesn't object!

Ian McC

14th February 2007, 21:50

Yes Carl, that may not go down very well :laugh:

CarlMetro

14th February 2007, 23:21

Hey I don't write 'em, I just cut and paste :D

Brown, Jon Brow

14th February 2007, 23:31

Q) What's the most confusing day of the year for a chav?

A) Fathers Day!

:p

Sleeper

15th February 2007, 00:26

:rotflmao:

tannat

15th February 2007, 02:52

To those of us across the pond-what's a chav? :D

race aficionado

15th February 2007, 02:58

Hey! I'm from another country (use heavy latino accent)

Que es un chav????? :confused:

:s mokin:

veeten

15th February 2007, 03:28

delinquent, hoodlum, punk... take your pick. ;)

race aficionado

15th February 2007, 03:44

hmmmmmmm . . . . I know a couple . . . .
thanks V

:)

Erki

15th February 2007, 05:39

Yes Carl, that may not go down very well :laugh:

I'm also reading this thread, ya know. :)

tannat

15th February 2007, 06:00

delinquent, hoodlum, punk... take your pick. ;)

No racial implication, correct?

Erki

15th February 2007, 06:22

No racial implication, correct?

No, just someone who drives an Opel Corsa and comes under your kitchen window to listen to music. :)

raikk

15th February 2007, 07:53

Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.

Q. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
A. "Will the defendant please rise"

Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit
him?
A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
A. What you looking at.

Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs

Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The policeman!

Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?
A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.

Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar*e.

Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
A. Because a nova has 4 seats.

Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.

Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
A. Bigmac please.

Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?
A. A chav girl has a higher spe*m count.

lmao just Gold! some of them were real funny :p :

LeonBrooke

15th February 2007, 08:04

Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar*e.

Oh oh oh that's just.............

fly_ac

15th February 2007, 08:21

Some really funny one's the Carl.
I was wondering what the exact meaning and origin of the word "chav" were so I went Googling.

For those who wanted to know this is what I found.

What is a Chav?
'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.
Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.
Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA

What is a Chavette?
A chavette is a female chav - Normally seen wearing sportswear, fake designer gear and large hoop earrings.

fly_ac

15th February 2007, 08:25

Some really funny one's there Carl. :up: :p :
I was wondering what the exact meaning and origin of the word "chav" were so I went Googling.

For those who wanted to know this is what I found.

What is a Chav?
'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.
Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.
Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA

What is a Chavette?
A chavette is a female chav - Normally seen wearing sportswear, fake designer gear and large hoop earrings.

Drew

15th February 2007, 14:09

:laugh:

Brilliant!

Any specific reason why we're bashing Chavs now, or just becuase what they are generally?

Captain VXR

15th February 2007, 17:15

To those of us across the pond-what's a chav? :D

Watch this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE1O3YOz5Y4)

tannat

15th February 2007, 17:31

Some really funny one's there Carl. :up: :p :
I was wondering what the exact meaning and origin of the word "chav" were so I went Googling.

For those who wanted to know this is what I found.

What is a Chav?
Guidos in the USA

Thought guido was derogatory for an Italian..

Perhaps I'll search yahoo images for a photo

CarlMetro

15th February 2007, 17:35

Watch this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE1O3YOz5Y4)

Nah, this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=789YG3SZYNY gives a far better representation of them ;)

tannat

15th February 2007, 17:41

Watch this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE1O3YOz5Y4)

Okay, now I think I have it..
A friend coined a term for this group, but I shouldn't post it here..

Ah chavs are in huge numbers hereabouts where I live.

They play their music too loud when they drive by. Would be nice if the police had a "Chav Squad"

tannat

15th February 2007, 17:45

Nah, this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=789YG3SZYNY gives a far better representation of them ;)

Oh my gosh-these were quite bad...
Our governments really need to do something about this..

veeten

15th February 2007, 21:21

just makes you want to bring back the Selective Service Draft, doesn't it?... :\ :p :

raikk

15th February 2007, 23:46

I have got the perfect environmentally friendly way to get rid of all chavs!
watch video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI6vRorvWaY&mode=related&search=

Roamy

16th February 2007, 01:47

I think I like Chavettes

Azumanga Davo

16th February 2007, 15:51

But fousto prefers them deep fried... ;) :D

veeten

16th February 2007, 20:02

now, is that Chavettes or Chevettes?... ;) :p :

Sleeper

16th February 2007, 22:22

Watch this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE1O3YOz5Y4)
Scary just how accurate that video is.

Captain VXR

16th February 2007, 23:04

Can't chavs drive proper cars like http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/audiavant_red.gif

Ian McC

17th February 2007, 09:34

But fousto prefers them deep fried... ;) :D

He likes them on the run, prefers a moving target :bandit: