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Hazell B
6th December 2006, 21:16
Sweet little things, lambs. They're the sole reason the word 'gambol' exists. Everyone likes to see them appear in the fields in spring, then on the menu in summer :facelick:

Having spent sunday afternoon helping pull them out of sheep's rear ends, I'm not so keen on them any more :s

Until then I'd never been there for the birth of anything. One of my friends, ever keen to make me take up farming, had insisted on teaching me about lambing on his flock. He thought I might find baby lambs cute .....

They're gormless, really loud (until you want them to bleat so you can find their mother, then the blighters shut up :rolleyes: ), always under your feet, almost impossible to bottle feed and far too big to fit easily through a sheep's cervix. They are also incredibly slippery when wet :mark:

Still, I enjoyed my kebab on the way home :p :

Ever been present for a birth, animal or human?

schmenke
6th December 2006, 21:30
...Ever been present for a birth, animal or human?

Yep :) ...and plan to be present for another one in April ;) :)

Hazell B
6th December 2006, 21:50
Does that mean congratulations are in order? :up:

schmenke
6th December 2006, 21:52
Ta! :up: :D

EuroTroll
6th December 2006, 21:53
Ever been present for a birth, animal or human?

I've seen the birth of pigs. Seemed relatively uncomplicated. :\ I've also seen a pig meet its end in the old fashioned way, through a knife. A far more enduring memory. :erm: :s

Congrats, schmenke! :p :

Eki
6th December 2006, 22:38
Ever been present for a birth, animal or human?
So you were a Birthday present for that lamb?

martinbalmer
6th December 2006, 23:22
Ever been present for a birth, animal or human?

Yes... We all have, haven't we ;) :p :


Yep ...and plan to be present for another one in April

Congratulations :D

Eki
6th December 2006, 23:33
Yes... We all have, haven't we ;) :p :


Which one was it in your case, nitromaster?

martinbalmer
6th December 2006, 23:45
Which one was it in your case, nitromaster?

Both :p : I was out in the garden earlier in the year and some chicks hatched out very close by.

ian959
7th December 2006, 04:27
Look on the bright side Hazell, you have endured one of the worst tasks on a farm (well, outside of running around a dity great field tying to catch a stupid bleating sheep with half a lamb hanging out of its rear end anyway).



Although trying to get a calf out of a cow when its the wrong way round is a bit of a bugger. Suckers are also slippery and that final almighty tug before you consign cow and calf to the abattoir is guaranteed to have you, calf and cow flying with the greatest of ease across the barn to land with an almightier thud in a collective pile of straw, dung, blood and god knows what else (and you of course buried 'neath it all).


Yes, been there, done that...

Azumanga Davo
7th December 2006, 05:26
I am disgusted at the lack of mint sauce present in this thread. Hopefully an admin can rectify in due course? ;)

oily oaf
7th December 2006, 08:36
Present for a birth? PRESENT FOR A BIRTH?? NEVER!

Behave yerself Hazell. Don't you think I went through enough trauma at the conception? :mad:

Actually that's not strictly true as I shall now monotonously relate :(

At Mrs Oafs last confinement I was asked by the midwife, a fearsome looking cove, stern of disposition and lardy of ar$e, if I should care to witness my latest sprog making it's society debut.
Now being an old fashioned geezer who is firmly of the opinion that childbirth, not unlike ironing, is "woman's work" (various missiles ricochet off tin hat) I politely declined her well meaning offer and ensconced myself in the lounge with my old pal Jim Beam and a packet of gaspers :)

10 fags and 7 or 8 doubles later the midwife summoned me to the boudoir to view my latest creation.
I was greeted my friends by a somewhat unsavoury looking object, smeared with some kind of hideous gunk and bearing a marked resemblance to an undernourished gibbon.
"Congratulations" gushed the matronly lummox.
"For what" thought I.

Anyway while these pleasantries were being exchanged Mrs Oaf suddenly started puffing and blowing like an asthmatic steam roller and generally flapping her gums in a most vociferous and I thought thoroughly unecessary manner :mad:

"Dont worry Mr Oaf" said our heroine "it's just the afterbirth"

Unable to stop myself I glanced down to the "Jack and Danny" area and saw a small pair of feet emerging.
"Blimey!" I remarked "I didn't know it 'ad feet!" (Absolutely true that)

To cut a long story short 10 minutes later my little girl, our first after 3 boys emerged spluttering and mewling into the world.

She was a breech birth and had the cord wrapped round her neck which I am told is none too clever in these affairs but thanks to the skill and dedication of the midwife I was duly presented with an undiagnosed twin and the most precious gift I have ever received

(Thanks Mrs Thomas. I owe yer one love and no error)

Donney
7th December 2006, 11:08
I have been present in the birth of the puppies of my two little dogs and it is frankly amazing.

CarlMetro
7th December 2006, 13:13
So far the birth of one son, several puppies, kittens and a calf.

Like Studiose I too have see the slaughter of a pig the old fashioned way, as part of a religious feast ritual performed by my family on a fairly regular basis. They would buy a pig from a local farmer three days before the feast, so we as kids would see it running around in a pen outside. The next thing we would see would be a pig being cooked on a spit outside and the one in the pen strangley missing. Then one year my Dad said it was time for me to see what went on in between. It's something which I will never ever forget.

LotusElise
7th December 2006, 13:19
I've seen a sheep giving birth too. Lambs are sweet and everything, but they don't half make a mess!

Eki
7th December 2006, 14:04
So far the birth of one son, several puppies, kittens and a calf.

CalfMetro?

oldhippie
7th December 2006, 15:49
ive not seen a birth but i saw the dog i hit with my car die :s