The Stupidest Movie

[Valve Bounce]

"TAKEN" has got to be the stupidest movie I’ve ever watched. Liam Neesen, a retired shady US Govt. spy/killer is tricked by his now indulged and megarich ex wife into permitting his spoiled and wacky 17 year old daughter to tour Europe unescorted with an even wackier 17 year old girl friend. The two girls are abducted/snatched on arrival in Paris by Albanian sex-slave traders while daughter is actually on the phone to dad.

Super Dad then vows to find and kill the abductors and flies off to Paris to search for his daughter. In the process he kills heaps of Albanian abductors/kidnappers and brothel runners, shoots the wife of a conniving ex friend/police Official as well as tortures an Albanian by electrocuting the guy to death slowly for information. He then executes a very high French official (don’t know if the guy was police or Politician) running the slave auction whose only excuse was that it was business - nothing personal, as well as killing his ring of slave traders. Then our hero speeds in the wrong direction on the one way Paris ring road, jumps onto a river barge, and kills some Arabs including the poor schmuck who bought his virgin daughter.

Then after killing/maiming all those people, he flies home happily to LA where he returns spoiled daughter to indulged ex-wife and gets a hug. Then he takes a taxi home.

This movie is a must watch for students of cinematography on how to write a rotten screenplay with more holes in the plot than a kilo of Swiss cheese.

[Storm]

You mean its worse than "Driven" ? oppps Drivel I mean :p :

[A.F.F.]

I put Evolution on the table.

However, Renny Harlin has more shi**y movies than anybody else. Driven isn't even the worst. :mark:

[Woodeye]

Any movie produced/directed/acted/etc. by Adam Sandler. I just can't watch those films at all. I've tried, but I have to cry, vomit and slit my wrists all at the time, so it's not easy.

[pino]

I don't think it was that bad, I actually enjoyed it :p :

[ShiftingGears]

Any movie produced/directed/acted/etc. by Adam Sandler. I just can't watch those films at all. I've tried, but I have to cry, vomit and slit my wrists all at the time, so it's not easy.

Totally agreed. The primary joke for every single movie of his is his character getting angry.

Which might be funny until you turn 14.

[Daniel]

Totally agreed. The primary joke for every single movie of his is his character getting angry.

Which might be funny until you turn 14.
True. I did like Mr Deeds though..... mmmmmm Winona Ryder. She can shoplift from me anytime :p

[jim mcglinchey]

I

However, Renny Harlin has more shi**y movies than anybody else. Driven isn't even the worst. :mark:

Why are you so hard on Renny Harlin, is it because he's a Finn? He had a great run in the mid 90s with Cliffhanger, Cuthoat Island then the masterly Long Kiss Goodnight, which I never tire of watching, but he hasnt done too much since.

[A.F.F.]

It has nothing to do him being Finn. It has everything to do him choosing the poorest scripts ever. Cliffhanger yes, Long Kiss Goodnight again yes, Die Hard 2 yes. And that were the good films.

Cutthroat Island you say ??? Seriously? That is the second shi*tiest movie of all time. The purpose of that movie was to spent a honeymoon with Geena Davis at Malta and at the same time, spent all the money Carolco had. Which, after the movie, was bankruptcy. There are two fans for that movie and you mate, with no offence at all, are the other one. I haven't met the other yet.

[markabilly]

"TAKEN" has got to be the stupidest movie I’ve ever watched. Liam Neesen, a retired shady US Govt. spy/killer is tricked by his now indulged and megarich ex wife into permitting his spoiled and wacky 17 year old daughter to tour Europe unescorted with an even wackier 17 year old girl friend. The two girls are abducted/snatched on arrival in Paris by Albanian sex-slave traders while daughter is actually on the phone to dad.

Super Dad then vows to find and kill the abductors and flies off to Paris to search for his daughter. In the process he kills heaps of Albanian abductors/kidnappers and brothel runners, shoots the wife of a conniving ex friend/police Official as well as tortures an Albanian by electrocuting the guy to death slowly for information. He then executes a very high French official (don’t know if the guy was police or Politician) running the slave auction whose only excuse was that it was business - nothing personal, as well as killing his ring of slave traders. Then our hero speeds in the wrong direction on the one way Paris ring road, jumps onto a river barge, and kills some Arabs including the poor schmuck who bought his virgin daughter.

Then after killing/maiming all those people, he flies home happily to LA where he returns spoiled daughter to indulged ex-wife and gets a hug. Then he takes a taxi home.

This movie is a must watch for students of cinematography on how to write a rotten screenplay with more holes in the plot than a kilo of Swiss cheese.


What is your problem?

All of the above is far more believable and realistic than either the mac/freddie/appeal/fuel temp story of 2007 or the Max of 2009 who goes home in a taxi to his old job as prez of the fia.

[markabilly]

max of 2008, not 2009, ..........i am already getting my years mixed up...

[steve_spackman]

the Grudge

[jim mcglinchey]

It Cutthroat Island you say ??? Seriously? That is the second shi*tiest movie of all time. The purpose of that movie was to spent a honeymoon with Geena Davis at Malta and at the same time, spent all the money Carolco had. Which, after the movie, was bankruptcy. There are two fans for that movie and you mate, with no offence at all, are the other one. I haven't met the other yet.

Dont want to bicker with you over a very small point, but if you read any of the customer reviews of this film on Amazon for eg, most reviewers agree that its a neglected gem.

[A.F.F.]

Dont want to bicker with you over a very small point, but if you read any of the customer reviews of this film on Amazon for eg, most reviewers agree that its a neglected gem.

Well, imdb viewers don't agree with 5,2 avarage. But as you say, it is a very small point.

I haven't seen Harlin's Cleaner yet. Maybe that is his semi-return to watchable movies.

And, I like Starship Troopers so who am I to blame anyone ;)

[Valve Bounce]

Just watched the Dark Knight yesterday. All in all, I found the movie tedious, confusing and much too long. PLot a little silly. Joker was great just the same - can't remember the guy who played him.
My favourite movie this year is still Il-y-a longtemps que je t'aime.
Also watched The Kite Runner; quite good, especially if you havn't read the book yet.

[Rollo]

Two words:
Glitter and Crossroads.

Game Over.

[steve_spackman]

X Files I Want To Believe

[Azumanga Davo]

I can think of a pair of complete brain-dead writers who churn out b***ocks in a can and call it a blockbuster.

Any guesses from anyone? :p :

[ChrisS]

The "Movie" Movies are the stupidest movies ever with the exception of the first 2 Scary Movies.

Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie... it gets worst with every new one

[Simmi]

Any movie produced/directed/acted/etc. by Adam Sandler. I just can't watch those films at all. I've tried, but I have to cry, vomit and slit my wrists all at the time, so it's not easy.

You dont like Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore,Billy Madison or The Water Boy! That's a shame.

What about his serious stuff Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me?

[christophulus]

You dont like Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore,Billy Madison or The Water Boy! That's a shame.

I do :)

I think it depends more on what you want from a film. I doubt a Sandler film could be called "intellectually stimulating" but if you want some mindless entertainment they fit the bill quite nicely. Yes, they are stupid films, but he clearly isn't because people pay to watch them!

[Magnus]

The day after tomorrow
Stupid stupid stupid...
:S

[Mark in Oshawa]

Love Guru by Mike Myers. He took something he loves (the Toronto Maple Leafs) and completely just butchered up Indian culture, his Leaf's and did it without any discernable script. The best part of the movie was the few hockey scenes they did pull off...and they were lame. You know the movie is in trouble when Justin Timberlake playing a well hung goalie from Quebec is the most believeable character.....well Jessica Alba was just pretty to look at....

[Glen 320]

I saw "The Happening" late last year,what a load of old tosh!

[schmenke]

Happy Gilmore is a hoot! :D

[555-04Q2]

Over the last decade movies have slowly become more and more...pathetic. I only watch a few new ones each year as you cannot find any good ones anymore. I have a personal collection of over 1000 movies and I prefer to go back and watch an old classic rather than the cr@p that comes out these days.

[Craig111]

well dude i have seen that movie last week with my friends in according to me it was interesting and Amazing movie what do you say about it? and if any body wants to share any information about it then please share me dude?????????? :) :) :)

[Mark]

well dude i have seen that movie last week with my friends in according to me it was interesting and Amazing movie what do you say about it? and if any body wants to share any information about it then please share me dude?????????? :) :) :)

Ah really?

[anthonyvop]

Aside from movies that try to rewrite history like JFK or The Butler the absolute stupidest movie ever made is Yentl

If having a talentless 41 year old Barbra Streisand writing, directing and staring in a movie isn't enough, she plays a Young Jewish woman who decides to disguise herself as a teenage boy to enter a Yeshiva.

But it gets better, She falls in love with a 31 year old Mandy Pantinkin(Playing a 19 year old) who is engaged to another woman.

Avigdor (The Pantinkin character) calls off the engagement because there is insanity in his family and so insists that Anshel (Streisand) marries her instead. All the while Avigdor suddenly becomes Gay because he starts falling in love with Anshel.

When Avigdor finds out Anshel's secrete he suddenly stops being gay and goes ahead and marries his original fiance. The movie then cuts to a well dressed and groomed, Streisand on a boat arriving in the USA. How a women who broke the laws of the Yeshiva, openly engaged in homosexual activity in early 20th century Poland and was able to escape on her own and cross 1/2 way across the world is ignored

[Spafranco]

"TAKEN" has got to be the stupidest movie I’ve ever watched. Liam Neesen, a retired shady US Govt. spy/killer is tricked by his now indulged and megarich ex wife into permitting his spoiled and wacky 17 year old daughter to tour Europe unescorted with an even wackier 17 year old girl friend. The two girls are abducted/snatched on arrival in Paris by Albanian sex-slave traders while daughter is actually on the phone to dad.



Super Dad then vows to find and kill the abductors and flies off to Paris to search for his daughter. In the process he kills heaps of Albanian abductors/kidnappers and brothel runners, shoots the wife of a conniving ex friend/police Official as well as tortures an Albanian by electrocuting the guy to death slowly for information. He then executes a very high French official (don’t know if the guy was police or Politician) running the slave auction whose only excuse was that it was business - nothing personal, as well as killing his ring of slave traders. Then our hero speeds in the wrong direction on the one way Paris ring road, jumps onto a river barge, and kills some Arabs including the poor schmuck who bought his virgin daughter.

Then after killing/maiming all those people, he flies home happily to LA where he returns spoiled daughter to indulged ex-wife and gets a hug. Then he takes a taxi home.

This movie is a must watch for students of cinematography on how to write a rotten screenplay with more holes in the plot than a kilo of Swiss cheese.

Like a clown I watched Taken Part 2. Pretty much the same. Daughter in Istanbul running around throwing grenades while dad is captured and counts the explosions to ascertain her whereabouts. Pure tripe.

[Spafranco]

I really am going to get thumped over this but the last Jason Bourne was bad. The one where his wife is shot and then he has this car chase in Moscow and driving one of those ridiculous cars, even worse it was a taxi he smashes through god knows how many tunnels goes the wrong way and still manages to get the guy driving the Mercedes that is chasing him.
The movie was fine but these car chases are ridiculous. Not only is the pursued a better driver than Sebastian Vettel, the pursuer is like Lewis Hamilton with a few crashing here and there like Danica or Keslowski.

[anfield5]

Any movie with Hugh Grant in or near it. Can't think of a single redeeming quality this half whit has (was looking for a vomiting smiley to place here)

[webberf1]

Taken is a fun movie to watch.

[Bagwan]

E.T. was the stupidest movie ever made . Period .

[JasonPotato]

Stupidest movie easily goes to the Paranormal activity series. Never seen anything so boring. Flicked it on just to see what it was as you do and the first hour consisted of 2 people hearing things downstairs in the middle of night. Them screaming etc and seeing things. How i made it through an hour i don't know.

I would literally rather watch paint dry.

Really DO NOT watch this utter sh**!

[Spafranco]

Another stupid movie was Napoleon Dynamite , but I loved it. :mad:

[MrJan]

I really am going to get thumped over this but the last Jason Bourne was bad. The one where his wife is shot and then he has this car chase in Moscow and driving one of those ridiculous cars, even worse it was a taxi he smashes through god knows how many tunnels goes the wrong way and still manages to get the guy driving the Mercedes that is chasing him.

Wasn't that the second Bourne film, The Bourne Supremecy? The most recent one was the Bourne Legacy, which didn't star Jason Bourne at all, and before that there was the Bourne Ultimatum.

[Brown, Jon Brow]

Looper.

Bruce Willis is sent back in time from the future by a guy called the 'Rainmaker' to be killed by his younger self, but he manages to avoid being killed and goes in search of the the boy who grows up to be the Rainmaker. However, young Bruce Willis sees that the 'Rainmaker' grows up to be 'evil' because old Bruce Willis only manages to kill the boys mum, so he commits suicide in order to stop Bruce Willis growing old and coming back in time to kill the boys mum.

[gadjo_dilo]

I don't know. I never go to stupid movies. :p

[yodasarmpit]

X-Men beats them all for worst movie of all time.

Someone mentioned The Grudge, I'm hoping you meant the Hollywood version as the Japaese original was bloody scary :)

[BleAivano]

the hangover parts I-XV, Prometheus were pretty Rubbish as well. :down: :down: :s mash: :s mash:

[A.F.F.]

IMO Prometheus was not stupid. But it was boring as hell.

When I saw MIB2 I thought you can't make a worse movie than this. But then came out MIB3 :mark:

[ford power]

2012,batman and robin,fast and furious tokyo drift all terrible movies

[edv]

Didn't like Braveheart.

[zako85]

I personally really hated "Crash". The movie is a picture of a self-hating left wing liberal white film director trying to give his uneducated audience a lesson on why "racism is bad". Hmm-okay, we got that. Does movie habe any other redeeming qualities? NONE! The movie is filled with unexpected, cheesy turns of plot that you can only see coming out of Hollywood. After this movie won an Oscar for best picture, I stopped paying attention to Oscar awards completely.

[555-04Q2]

Didn't like Braveheart.

My wife did! Something to do with a youngish Mel Gibson, his abs and long hair :p :

[Spafranco]

Any movie produced/directed/acted/etc. by Adam Sandler. I just can't watch those films at all. I've tried, but I have to cry, vomit and slit my wrists all at the time, so it's not easy.

I remember very clearly when Sandler played a gig in Chicago. I forget the name of the club, a improv type. It was a Saturday event and covered in the Tribune the following Monday. He was deemed to have been atrocious. Asked how he got onto SNL.

I'm with you Woodeye.

[Spafranco]

Wasn't that the second Bourne film, The Bourne Supremecy? The most recent one was the Bourne Legacy, which didn't star Jason Bourne at all, and before that there was the Bourne Ultimatum.

Thanks MrJan, you are quite right. The scence with the car chase was with Matt Damon, the more recent had the guy that was the disposal guy in the IRAQ War movie.

[MrJan]

the guy that was the disposal guy in the IRAQ War movie.

Jeremy Renner, star of the very impressive Hurt Locker, directed by Kathryn Bigelow (director of the less impressive Point Break).

I don't think that films like Crash or Braveheart should be in this thread, they may not be to your taste but they aren't exactly 'stupid', not in the same sense as 2 Fast 2 Furious or Little Man are.

[Big Ben]

I've seen so many stupid movies that it's quite hard to determine which one is the absolute worse.
This year's worst was Upstream Color... by a long shot. It's a good candidate for the worst ever actually. God, what a load of bull$h1t.

of course... there are the movies I didn't bother to watch all the way to the end... and I'm very tolerant to stupid movies.
I've watched only 15 minutes of the first harry potter... and was sort of forced to watch one or two twilights... just awful.

[Rudy Tamasz]

The Life of David Gale. The ultimate manual on self-destruction.

[555-04Q2]

I've seen so many stupid movies that it's quite hard to determine which one is the absolute worse.
This year's worst was Upstream Color... by a long shot. It's a good candidate for the worst ever actually. God, what a load of bull$h1t.

of course... there are the movies I didn't bother to watch all the way to the end... and I'm very tolerant to stupid movies.
I've watched only 15 minutes of the first harry potter... and was sort of forced to watch one or two twilights... just awful.

Agree on the Potter and Twilight movies. Pointless story lines with poor foundations and even poorer execution :down:

[schmenke]

I'm surprised no one's mentioned the film Driven :s

[steve_spackman]

DinoCroc has to be the stupidest movie I've seen. Still not seen sharknado yet...

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4

[Rudy Tamasz]

I'm surprised no one's mentioned the film Driven :s

Well, at least it had Gina Gershon in it.

[555-04Q2]

Inception - still can't figure out WTF happened in that movie!

[BleAivano]

Inception - still can't figure out WTF happened in that movie!

its a strange movie that really twisted your mind but I liked it.

[555-04Q2]

its a strange movie that really twisted your mind but I liked it.

It didn't twist my mind...it stuffed it up completely! :p :

[Spafranco]

All the Lethal Weapon movies with Gibson's face ticks etcetra. I think George Clooney must have been told to stop doing that since we seldom see him doing that silly side head and eye tick deal. George is not a bad actor.
Another movie I can't abide is Cobra.

[BDunnell]

'Runaway Car'. Definitely the worst I've ever seen.

[Spafranco]

I personally really hated "Crash". The movie is a picture of a self-hating left wing liberal white film director trying to give his uneducated audience a lesson on why "racism is bad". Hmm-okay, we got that. Does movie habe any other redeeming qualities? NONE! The movie is filled with unexpected, cheesy turns of plot that you can only see coming out of Hollywood. After this movie won an Oscar for best picture, I stopped paying attention to Oscar awards completely.

This is a decent thread. Keep your political views out of it please.

[Mihai]

The stupidest movie I saw in a while was the new 'Man of Steel' Superman cr@p. It was full of cliches and infested in fist-fighting scenes between aliens that were supposed to be a superior civilization. I felt like I was watching a cheap Hong Kong karate movie from the 80s. Too bad for the Superman tradition.

[J4MIE]

I don't know how "Titanic 2" hasn't been mentioned yet :s

Although I have still to see Sharknado ;)

[ShiftingGears]

Honourary mention:

uROQ9nplxIY

$65 million budget. Released in 2012.

"...the grotesque ugliness of the animation alone would be a deal-breaker even if the film weren’t also glaringly inappropriate in its sexuality, nightmare-inducing in its animation, and filled with Nazi overtones and iconography even more egregiously unfit for children than the script’s wall-to-wall gauntlet of crude double entendres and weird intimations of interspecies sex."

[janneppi]

I don't know how "Titanic 2" hasn't been mentioned yet :s

Is that sort of like "the Empire strikes back" or revenge of the ship ? :D

[gadjo_dilo]

This thread is a success with many posters and already has 4 pages. On the other hand the other thread about movies has rarely a poster.
What happens to you guys? Aren't you able to see a decent movie? :p

[janneppi]

Sometimes good movies aren't as interesting.
I watched a thoroughly bad movie called The Misfit Brigade(made from Sven Hassel's books ) few weeks ago. I had everything, bad plot, bad acting, wrong equipment, a bloody T-54 acting as a Tiger. :(
But by gods if it didn't have a Soviet SU-100 also. And if movie uses old off beat WW2 era tanks it's not all bad. ;)

[gadjo_dilo]

But before going to a movie don't you guys do some research about it?

[Gregor-y]

There's a Robocop remake int he works. Rated PG13.

Also as a personal pet peeve, when I watched the recent "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" in theaters the opening air raid featured a fleet of CGI Heinkel 111s with Merlin engines.

[Ranger]

Movie 43

[Koz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4x-EHPkKis

[Storm]

Armageddon..it was on tv last night and I remembered how terrible it was...

[anthonyvop]

I personally really hated "Crash". The movie is a picture of a self-hating left wing liberal white film director trying to give his uneducated audience a lesson on why "racism is bad". Hmm-okay, we got that. Does movie habe any other redeeming qualities? NONE! The movie is filled with unexpected, cheesy turns of plot that you can only see coming out of Hollywood. After this movie won an Oscar for best picture, I stopped paying attention to Oscar awards completely.

This is a decent thread. Keep your political views out of it please.

When a movie is overtly political how can one offer any critique without using one's political views?

Can you talk about movies like "All the President's Men" or one of my favorites, "Wag the Dog" with bring up politics?

[gadjo_dilo]

I'm thinking of something really strange. Whenever in my long existance I went to a cinema to see a movie I had the patience to watch it till the end even if I didn't like it. And mind you, I've been even to syrian, turkish, egyptian, indian, etc. movies ( I admit of seeing even north korean movies of the Kim Ir Sen era but only on TV :laugh:).
This year for the first time in my life I felt the urge to stand up and leave the cinema but unfortunately I was trapped in the middle of a row and I was embarassed to disturb the rest of the audience ( for the first time in years the theatre was full and I could hardly find a seat ).
The movie wasn't bad - even had loads of Oscar nominees- but I found it dead boring as I couldn't relate to the plot. I had 2 options: to fall asleep or to concentrate only on the lead actor who was one of my favs when he was younger. I opted for the latter cos it was a matinee and too early for a nap....
I think it's a certain sign of getting old....