Personal space

[Daniel]

Is it just me or does no one respect personal space at all these days? Had a 5 hour flight from Perth to Singapore and the lady next to me had no problem with resting her arm on top of my arm, laughing her head off at a Ben Stiller movie as if she wasn't in a crowded economy class cabin with a few hundred other people and then she was drinking water and then laughed so hard she spat water all over me and didn't apologise.

Perhaps I'm just being a bit anal but it's not that hard to respect someone's personal space is it? :(

[Drew]

Was she hot? :cheese:

[maxu05]

I know what you mean Daniel, I occasionally catch the bus here and the buses are packed like sardine cans in peak hour. When the bus stops, people try to get off and step all over you, there is never an apology. I also hate when you are on an elevator and people try to barge on while people are still trying to get off. I just try to summon up the biggest fart I can manage :D

[Daniel]

Was she hot? :cheese:
Not at all :yuck:

I forgot to mention. Who the **** laughs at Ben Stiller anymore? He's not bloody funny!

[maxu05]

Agree 100%, Ben Stiller is not funny. I think his comedy is lame at best.

[Azumanga Davo]

Personal space, economy class.

You are surprised there's no such thing in that scenario? ;) :D

[JSH]

Is it just me or does no one respect personal space at all these days? Had a 5 hour flight from Perth to Singapore and the lady next to me had no problem with resting her arm on top of my arm, laughing her head off at a Ben Stiller movie as if she wasn't in a crowded economy class cabin with a few hundred other people and then she was drinking water and then laughed so hard she spat water all over me and didn't apologise.

Perhaps I'm just being a bit anal but it's not that hard to respect someone's personal space is it? :(

I would have started ordering myself refills of alcohol. Then burped at her all through the flight.

[jso1985]

Not at all :yuck:

I forgot to mention. Who the **** laughs at Ben Stiller anymore? He's not bloody funny!

He was on Average Joe's IMO!

If you can't respect Stiller then you deserve no respect back :p

[leopard]

I never used to travel with reservation ticket, I like buying it on venue so there were more choice who can I share my personal space with. :)

[Daniel]

Agree 100%, Ben Stiller is not funny. I think his comedy is lame at best.

At least one person knows his stuff ;)


I would have started ordering myself refills of alcohol. Then burped at her all through the flight.

I don't drink alcohol :p

[Garry Walker]

The answer is business class, but if that doesn`t suit, then


Is it just me or does no one respect personal space at all these days? Had a 5 hour flight from Perth to Singapore and the lady next to me had no problem with resting her arm on top of my arm, laughing her head off at a Ben Stiller movie as if she wasn't in a crowded economy class cabin with a few hundred other people and then she was drinking water and then laughed so hard she spat water all over me and didn't apologise.

Perhaps I'm just being a bit anal but it's not that hard to respect someone's personal space is it? :(

you could have just told her your opinion? I know these days people are so anal about "offending" someone, but why let someone bother you and not make it known?

[Daniel]

The answer is business class, but if that doesn`t suit, then



you could have just told her your opinion? I know these days people are so anal about "offending" someone, but why let someone bother you and not make it known?
Thing is I wasn't that bothered about offending her. She just didn't look like the sort of person who would take kindly to someone asking her to respect their personal space. Her oafish husband didn't look like the nicest person either. Thing is she knew she'd spat water all over me but clearly wasn't bothered at all. I think that says something about the type of person she was.

[Garry Walker]

Thing is I wasn't that bothered about offending her. She just didn't look like the sort of person who would take kindly to someone asking her to respect their personal space. Her oafish husband didn't look like the nicest person either. Thing is she knew she'd spat water all over me but clearly wasn't bothered at all. I think that says something about the type of person she was.

What does it matter do you, if she takes it kindly or not, though? It is not your problem if she gets angry and makes a scene, she will be the one looking like an idiot and you will feel better having made your point, whether it actually produces a result or not. From my experience, such dickheads will probably get grumpy and mumble something, but they will mind their manners next time, if you make your point known loud and clear.

Were you intimidated by her hubby? If you were, it was probably for nothing, because it is unlikely that there would have been a fight and again, if you have some dickhead yelling at you, I would only take pleasure from it and wind him up even more.

Ages ago, on a bus trip to somewhere, I sat next to a boy (maybe 14-15?) who had a lady sitting on the seat in front of him, lower her seat so that it was really uncomfortable for him and he had almost no room at all. I could see he was bothered, but he didn´t do anything. For what seemed like an hour and probably was an hour. I thought of asking the lady myself, but then thought, he better get used to fighting his own battles.

[Daniel]

What does it matter do you, if she takes it kindly or not, though? It is not your problem if she gets angry and makes a scene, she will be the one looking like an idiot and you will feel better having made your point, whether it actually produces a result or not. From my experience, such dickheads will probably get grumpy and mumble something, but they will mind their manners next time, if you make your point known loud and clear.

Were you intimidated by her hubby? If you were, it was probably for nothing, because it is unlikely that there would have been a fight and again, if you have some dickhead yelling at you, I would only take pleasure from it and wind him up even more.

Ages ago, on a bus trip to somewhere, I sat next to a boy (maybe 14-15?) who had a lady sitting on the seat in front of him, lower her seat so that it was really uncomfortable for him and he had almost no room at all. I could see he was bothered, but he didn´t do anything. For what seemed like an hour and probably was an hour. I thought of asking the lady myself, but then thought, he better get used to fighting his own battles.

Thing is it was only a short haul flight. Wasn't really worth the fuss for me.

[Les]

Thing is it was only a short haul flight. Wasn't really worth the fuss for me.

so you let her get away with it and next time she does the same thing or worse....

one word now is better than 100 words later.

[Daniel]

so you let her get away with it and next time she does the same thing or worse....

one word now is better than 100 words later.

jeez..... next time she's going to molest a child or go on a murderous rampage? :eek:

Give us a break :dozey:

[Drew]

I'm with Garry on this one, if you never tell people they never learn...

[gadjo_dilo]

I'm with Garry on this one, if you never tell people they never learn...
In case they are ready to learn.....
Some people are so rude that if you explain them politely they do a wrong thing will take offence and make you feel embarassed.
I remember that I was sitting on a chair in a crowded tram and a guy who was standing near my seat was rubbing his **** on my shoulder. I changed my position a few times but he was again over me. Then I offered my seat saying that if he can't stand the agglomeration he may seat there and stop rubbing my shoulder. Not only that he shouted that I'm foppish but a fat gipsy woman started to shout that who do I think I am, that I don't look that good + lots of dirty words. I told her it's not nice to shout when you ate garlic and don't brush your teeth ( which she did ) and for 6 tram stations she insulted me so hard that all the Danube waters couldn't wash me. Ironically, the rest of the crowd were so appaled by her vocabulary that considered that I was guilty for starting the trouble.

[Daniel]

In case they are ready to learn.....
Some people are so rude that if you explain them politely they do a wrong thing will take offence and make you feel embarassed.
I remember that I was sitting on a chair in a crowded tram and a guy who was standing near my seat was rubbing his **** on my shoulder. I changed my position a few times but he was again over me. Then I offered my seat saying that if he can't stand the agglomeration he may seat there and stop rubbing my shoulder. Not only that he shouted that I'm foppish but a fat gipsy woman started to shout that who do I think I am, that I don't look that good + lots of dirty words. I told her it's not nice to shout when you ate garlic and don't brush your teeth ( which she did ) and for 6 tram stations she insulted me so hard that all the Danube waters couldn't wash me. Ironically, the rest of the crowd were so appaled by her vocabulary that considered that I was guilty for starting the trouble.
That's kind of the treatment I was worried of getting. Well perhaps not quite as strong as yours but something like that. At the end of the day she didn't look like the sort of person who was bothered. Clearly you don't spit water over someone and not say sorry if you're at all interested in considering someone elses needs.

[ShiftingGears]

jeez..... next time she's going to molest a child or go on a murderous rampage? :eek:

And it'll be your fault!

[Magnus]

Well, I guess it is sometimes better to just try to close in your own shell. It is often that the person who is annoying you may get even more irritating.

And btw while at this topic: what if I told for example mr Garry Walker that I believe he from time to time crosses the line of what is a polite way of discussing things, and that his tendency towards using rather hard words regarding other people is no good way to discuss different matters. Would Garry Walker just accept what I am saying, excuse himself and turn his voice down and start chosing his words with a little more respect towards other people and their opinions? Probably not. What I mean is that often we just have to accept each other as we are. If I were to marry Garry it would be another question. But I guess we won´t :)

[Daniel]

If I were to marry Garry it would be another question. But I guess we won´t :)

My only question is who would be the bride :)

[fandango]

I find the best thing to do in that situation is to simply say "excuse me, do you know that your arm is on top of mine?". You have to speak clearly and neutrally, so that it's the other person's decision whether to be friendly or not. If they aren't, then there's no point in having a discussion with them because as DonkeyJote says, never argue with a fool - others won't know the difference.

In the case where the other person is not sympathetic, the best thing is to ask the steward for a change of seat.

One thing I can't help noticing, though, Daniel, is that you're NEVER one to let something just go on this forum, when someone says something you don't agree with, but on the plane you don't seem to mind suffering in silence.

[Daniel]

One thing I can't help noticing, though, Daniel, is that you're NEVER one to let something just go on this forum, when someone says something you don't agree with, but on the plane you don't seem to mind suffering in silence.

True enough in most cases I'll admit. But the thing is this is a discussion forum and therefore it's all about opinions and nothing more than that. At the end of the day I was just a bit uncomfortable on the plane.

I'm more than happy to have a word with someone in public if I feel it's safe for me to do so and it bugs me enough. A few months ago I saw a lady parking her nice big range rover in the last disabled space at our local Sainsburys and confronted her and got the old "what's it to you?" response from the gobby little cow. So I just went to the service desk and they called out over the PA for her to move :)

Confrontation is in a lot of cases a dumb thing to be involved in. What DonkeyJote says rings true. Thing is I can choose to be on the forum but I can't chose who to set next to when they become abusive on a full flight :)

[Garry Walker]

Well, I guess it is sometimes better to just try to close in your own shell. It is often that the person who is annoying you may get even more irritating.
I don`t agree. One always has to stand up for himself/herself and never let others abuse or cause discomfort (to) him/her in any way. That`s at least my opinion and how I have chosen to live my life. Yes, that will lead to conflicts at times. But rather that than letting some people take a **** on you.
I will make sure to teach my children the same.



And btw while at this topic: what if I told for example mr Garry Walker that I believe he from time to time crosses the line of what is a polite way of discussing things, and that his tendency towards using rather hard words regarding other people is no good way to discuss different matters. Would Garry Walker just accept what I am saying, excuse himself and turn his voice down and start chosing his words with a little more respect towards other people and their opinions? Probably not. What I mean is that often we just have to accept each other as we are. If I were to marry Garry it would be another question. But I guess we won´t :)
I totally accept what you are saying, for I know it to be true :D .


My only question is who would be the bride :)

I have shaved my legs already :up:



Confrontation is in a lot of cases a dumb thing to be involved in.

It is much dumber and far more demeaning to just let the other person treat you like ****. You will just end up angry inside over it and also humiliated.