Going down faster than a lead balloon

[Rollo]

Australian film fans should be familiar with the film Kenny, which is a semi-mockumentary featuring Kenny who is a portaloo toilet installer. One of the absolute brilliant features of the film is his overuse of similies:

"we're gonna be busier than a one-armed brick layer in Baghdad"

"you look as confused as a goat on astro-turf"

"It's as silly as a bum full of smarties"

I'm wondering what corkers of similies are in your neck of the woods... so that I can steal them

[gadjo_dilo]

In spoken romanian we use a lot of such meaningful sayings like:

You bumped into discussion like knickers in the ass.

I'm so frightened that my knickers are trembling.

You're staring as the veal at the new gate

You are sleeping like a suitcase in the railway station

You're turning around like a ball ( with the sense of testicle ) in a pail

You're walking as straight as the ox's pee

You're walking as fast as the dead's eyes

You're as stupid as the night

It fits like the nut in the wall

You turned it around like in Ploiesti ( romanian city )

You're staring like the cat at the calendar

etc. etc. etc.